Fifa 13- Paddy

Today is my last day in the small Hampshire town of Farnborough. Tomorrow, I shall be making the journey up to my halls of residence at Leicester. I am looking forward to it, I've packed all my stuff away and am raring to go. The one downside is that I have had to pack away my Xbox 360 in order to transport it tomorrow. This unfortunately means that I am not able to play FIFA 13, the disc of which arrived earlier today. Don't get me wrong, I already played 2 and a half hours of it earlier today, kicking of my new manager mode with French side PSG. I have only played 1 league game so far, but I won it 4-3 and I have already made several big name purchases in order to bolster my squad. I am looking forward to continuing it, but doubt I will be able to play much over the next few days, what with fresher's and meeting new people and what not.

Tournament- Paddy

Sorry for not doing my blog thing at the weekend. I was rather pre-occupied with a tournament of sword fighting. For realsies. In my spare time, I am a member of a HEMA school that teaches 16th century style rapier fencing. Here is a video of some other people doing some. That was actually a demonstration by my coaches.
But anyway, back to the important matter, I had a tournament of this all weekend. It was my first ever tournament and it did not go so well. I lost all 3 of my fights in the group stage and placed 11th out of 12 fighters. In my defense though, I did have last years defending champion as my opponent for my first ever tournament bout, a bout I lost 5-1. I also lost 5-2 and 11-2, rounding out my exit from the tournament. Despite my complete and total defeat, I did enjoy the tournament and I am already in training for next year when I will undoubtedly win, of course.

Prepared - Alex

I am as ready as ready can be for moving into university tomorrow. My xbox and television have been taken down (my room looks naked without them). My boxer draw is nearly empty and my sock draw is less empty but still noticeably depleted. The most important piece of preparation that I could do, however, is get the booze ready, and boy have I. I have over time got 1.4L of spirit (half scotch and half Jaegermeister) and 8.36L of lager. That's nearly 10L of alcohol! Now I'm just watching QI and awaiting the moment I can rest my head upon my pillow after using my toothbrush at home for the last time in weeks. If you're ignoring tomorrow morning that is. I have only one pair of trainers left out and am really considering throwing another pair of jeans in my car tomorrow morning. For now I want to go and watch Stephen Fry however I suspect that I will post on Sunday as I may well have something to tell you about AND time to kill. LOVE YOU GUYS.

A Green Scouring Pad on a Stick- Paddy

Today I went shopping with my Mother for a list of things I would need to survive successfully at university. This list included, but was not limited to, a green scouring pad on a stick for cleaning dishes and plates and what not. If owning your very own green scouring pad on a stick is not a sign of being an adult, who has to fend for themselves, then I don't know what is. It is not something that I would even have considered adding to my basket of items, had it not been for my Mum. With all her adult experience  having been one for more years than she'd like me to tell you, she told me that a green scouring pad on a stick was something I was going to need. So I splashed out roughly £1.50 on (by I splashed out, I in fact mean that my mum paid for it). I have never felt more prepared for university.

Penultimate - Alex

Well this is my penultimate regular blog, as I said a while back I would halt my bi-daily blogging in favour of posting when I felt like it. What can you expect after this change? Well the obvious answer is "for there not to be a post from Alex every other day", however on this blog we like to dig deeper than the painfully obvious. I like to think that you can expect a higher quality of post from me as and when I do post, primarily because I will only post when I have a genuine idea of what I'm going to write. Therefore you can expect less boring filler and more comedic wit. Also being at university I will be surrounded by intelligent sorts who will no doubt teach me all sorts of amazing new words which will allow me to tantalise your imaginations. No longer will I bore you with FIFA talk that only I or Patrick find interesting, instead I will no doubt keep you entertained will interesting uni anecdotes or other whimsical and entertaining snippets of text.

My Tuesday- Paddy

Let me tell you about my day. Not because it was particularly interesting, but because I have little better to tell you all about. I woke today at the late (even for me) time of 1pm, for no particular reason. I then, surprisingly proactively, gathered various items and belongings of mine from around my house and placed them in my study. This is because I was gathering items to pack for university, where I shall be going in 11 days. I also made a list of things I need to buy, like stationary, because I am an organised human being. Once this was done I played roughly 3 hours of FIFA 12, because I could. I had a pork chop sandwich for dinner. This is 2 pork chops in a baguette, and is a manly sandwich. Post-dinner I watched the Champions League fixture between Real Madrid and Manchester city, which was won rather excitingly by Real 3-2. And that brings us to now, me writing this blog. Telling you about my day. I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my hollow, empty life.

Packing - Alex

I have begun packing for leaving for university, which is a bit rubbish. As it stands I have all of my shower gels, deodorants, appliances and such in a big box. I have my crockery and glassware ready for one last wash before being packed up. The most crucial things I am taking up are A.) my huge mug for big servings of tea or coffee and B.) a crate or two of beer, for those first few days of bonding. It would be incorrect to label myself as nervous for university, but I am a touch anxious to meet the people who I will spend countless hours with over the next year. I am absolutely positive that most of them will be genuinely bearable people, but I am also fairly certain that one or two of them will be complete burks. I'll fill you in within the next week I reckon!

Also just a little note, I just signed David Beckham for free for Wigan on FIFA 12, a 77 cm on only 20,000 per week can't be sniffed at. I also signed a 36 year old cb (Legrottaglie - 75), a 36 year old rb (Neville - 74) and a 36 year old cdm (Brocchi - 75). All for free, in order to quash an injury crisis rising at my club. So I am not the proud owner of an old persons club.

University times- Paddy

It is now exactly 13 days until I have to depart from the small town of Farnborough for the big city of Leicester for my university to begin. However, for the last week or so of that time I shall be left in a desolate wasteland. Basically, all of my friends will be already at their universities, having started in the coming days. In fact, Hayden, who is a friend of mine, already started his yesterday down at UWE in Bristol. Fortunately, one of my better friends, is not leaving until the 7th of October. That is redonkulously late. I will be 19 by the time she is even thinking of leaving for university. Also, that's exciting, I turn 19 on the second night of my Uni Fresher's week. That's a good way to get drunk. I'm looking forward to it.

They are leaving - Alex

Well the first of my pals have started to leave for university, and as Pat's dedication to the blog wanes as does the number of friends I have in this neck of the woods. Just last night I attended a "leaving party", although rather sadly it was not for university but instead she is moving to South Africa for ever and ever. I have one week left in my home town and then I am living in the middle of England. Patrick, I will tell you for him, has a fortnight left in Farnborough before living in the middle of England. He's literally within 15 miles of me, how amazing is that? We can stay best friends forever and still see each other on weekends. It'll be like we aren't even apart. I can also, hopefully, tell all of his embarrassing stories to his new friends. I'm going to make them hate him.

One last time - Alex

I am grumpy a lot of the time. This doesn't mean that I'm not happy, just that I don't really want to appear it. For this reason I don't really enjoy clubbing, however tonight I will be clubbing in my local area in the last time for a mighty few months. Since I came of age in February I have been to Fleet thrice, Guildford once and Camberley once also. So tonight will mark my sixth time in my seventh available month, party animal. A very good bit of news is that tonight is "£2 Stella night", which means that a bottle of Stella Artois lager beer can be acquired for just two British pounds, which is a good deal for "out". What, however, is an even better deal, is ten 440ml cans of Budweiser for only £7, that's a measly £1.59 per litre. I imagine the Stella tonight will work out to something around £6 a litre! That's the best thing about shopping in ASDA, bargains.

Connor, the denier of goals- Paddy

Tonight I played some 5-a-side football with a few of my friends, 9 of them in fact otherwise it stops being 5-a-side. I played at a striker on my in my quintet, because this is the position that I play. I had a decent game, racked up 9 or 10 goals, more than any of the other 9 players managed to get. This of course meant my team won. However, none of that matters. None of that matters because of Connor. Connor might be the worst person in goal that I know. Despite this being the case, Connor still managed to prevent me scoring on no less than 8 separate occasions. This started to wind me up, as he kept reminding me of this fact. This meant I became more and more frustrated and upset at my lack of goals vs Connor and started to take more and more outlandish and desperate shots. This lead to more and more pressure on me to score against him. I couldn't handle the pressure. I ended up in the fetal position at one point. That is all that people will remember from this game. Not the 9 goals, no, the Connor induced breakdown overshadowed all that.

Ch ch ch ch ch changes - Alex

Soon my life will take a huge change, around late September what I have known in my recent memory will be changed for the foreseeable future. Yes, I am of course talking about the release of FIFA 13. I have grown fairly fond of FIFA 12 and to help demonstrate this I will tell you how many matches I have played in each mode (and each match takes roughly 12 minutes), I have played 333 head to head seasons matches, 65 ultimate team matches, somewhere in the region of 50 pro club matches, 140 career mode matches, 216 online friendlies matches and I would estimate around 30 exhibition matches. That's 834 matches of  FIFA, amounting to a time somewhere in the region of 167 hours of FIFA match time. That's a week of FIFA. That means that I have effectively spent 1/52nd of my last year playing FIFA. Bloody hell. Of all my time on FIFA  170 of the matches are against Patrick, of the 170 I have won 78, drawn 42 and only lost 50. We have also completed 19 full seasons of which I have won 14 (and I am all but certain to win our current season, not even he would deny that). I'll miss FIFA 12, Terrence Musuveni and my very average ability on it, but I also can't wait for FIFA 13. God I'm a loser.

Parties- Paddy

As Alex informed you yesterday, we had a weekend full of partying. I, unlike alex, however, do not have any self control and got very drunk on both nights. In fact on Friday I was sick outside my friends house, and on Saturday I was "really, very nearly sick" but refrained from actually chundering, as someone who is uneducated might say. Before you get all judgmental, I did consumed a high amount of alcohol, conservatively estimated to be in the region of 45 units, which is no small amount and works out at more than 1 unit an hour from the time I started on Friday, to the time I fell asleep on Sunday morning. Is it wrong that I am just the tiniest bit proud of that ratio? I'm more ashamed of the actions caused by the ratio, obviously. I woke up on sunday morning and people had adorned my body in rude words written in sharpie. I had to remove the whole top layer of skin from my upper arm to remove the message that "****'s love ******* & poo". It wasn't a sentiment I really wanted to share with the people by displaying it so prominently on myself. Also my Nan was visiting me on Sunday, and she certainly wouldn't want to see that.

Neglect - Alex

You've been neglected, neither I nor Paddy have been on top blogging form recently and I know that I'm disappointed in myself for letting you down. I have a fairly good excuse for Wednesday, I was at the Paralympics and hence was not in my house between 5:30 in the morning and 9 at night. for Friday I have less in the way of excuses and the only vague thing I can muster up is that I got addicted to Minecraft that day. Anyway, what's been going on in my life? Well Friday night I went to a party and got drunk and then last night (Saturday) I went to a party and didn't get drunk. On Friday night the party had no theme but last night the party was Hawaiian themed, forcing me to buy an incredibly garish vest from primark adorned with palm trees and sun sets. It made me look both very Hawaiian and very silly. I don't really have the physique to wear a vest though, the only person who looks worse than me in a vest is... well... Pat. Bless him the little chucklehead.

Harry Potter Tour- Paddy

I am an avid fan of the Harry Potter series, both in novel and film form, as is my sister. It is for this reason that today we both went to the Warner Bros Studio Tour in Watford to see the behind the scenes work on all the films. It was one of the most interesting days I have ever had. The level of detail in the props and sets in absolutely and ridiculously minute. For example, each of the small jars on the shelves of the potion's classroom set has its own unique, handwritten label. A second example is the 40 full editions of the wizarding newspaper that were published, despite many of them only having 1 or 2 pages shown on camera. The attention to detail is simply astonishing. If you are a fan of the series, I would strongly recommend taking the tour. It made me make excited squealing noises on more than one occasion.

Trilogy- Paddy

Today I did a marathon. Not the conventional 26 mile or so run, I'm not healthy enough to do that. No today I did a marathon of the film-watching variety. I, along with 4 of my friends (all males of course), watched all 3 of the Lord of the Rings film back to back. We only watched the standard editions of the films as that would have been far too time consuming, but still they totaled 492 minutes of film, which is roughly 8 and 1/4 hours. That is a lot of Lord of the Rings. In that duration of time Usain Bolt could run almost 200 miles, assuming he maintained the average speed of his world record run. However, watching so much of Peter Jackson's trilogy did have its downside. Towards the end of The Two Towers (the central film of the trilogy) our attention began to wane and more and more distractions were found from the films, eventually leaving the last part of Return of the King as little more than background noise. Also at one point I stood up to get a drink and hit my head on a lamp. That hurt quite alot

Trilogy - Alex

As sang by Schoolhouse Rock, three is the magic number. And things in my life have just so happened to neatly fit into threes. Firstly, avid readers will remember me talking about my DVD set with Snatch, Lock, Stock and Two Smokin Barrels and finally L4yer Cake. Well I finished the DVD set today by watching the pre-bond Daniel Craig film L4yer Cake. I enjoyed it, however I much preferred Snatch and Lock, Stock. I also just completed a trio of signing on my Wigan manager mode on FIFA. This will mean very little to most of you, but I managed to nab myself a 78 rated left midfielder, a 77 rated central attacking midfielder and then a 75 rated left back (who, crucially, is versatile and can play at right back or central defensive midfield). Last but not least me and four friends (or so I am told) are planning to watch all three Lord of the Rings films in one sitting tomorrow, back to back. The films back to back, not the people. Wish us luck.

Replay - Alex

You know when you get a song stuck in your head and you just rape the replay button for the best part of an hour? Well last night I listened to THIS on repeat for at least an hour. It starts off slow and melodic before morphing into hectic string filled bliss. I find it difficult to listen to it without tapping my feet. The reason I listened to it so many times is because yesterday I watched both Lock, Stock and Two Smokin Barrles AND Snatch. I must say that I found both films rather enjoyable and will be completing the DVD box set they came in by watching L4yer Cak3 within the next week. Now this morning I've been listening to THIS many times over. It's really relaxing and easy to listen to. I'll be keeping an eye out for their debut album! AND HERE'S A RANDOM FACT FOR YOU, today I washed myself with old spice original body wash which promises up to 7 hours of fragrance. After 5 hours I still smell like Terry Crews fresh out of the shower, success.

A story- Paddy

This may seem like a cop-out blog to some of you, but I'm just going to link to a picture of a story someone wrote on the internet for you all to read. Here it is. Enjoy. I thought it was very interesting.

Football crazy - Alex

As I have mentioned in the past I am a HUGE football fan, an avid Manchester United follower and a religious player of FIFA. For these reasons today has been a good day for me, and I shall now embark upon explaining to you why. Any football fan would find it difficult to not get a tiny bit excited at the tail end of the transfer window. The rumour mill powered by fans seeing players in local petrol stations and dodgy agents trying the raise interest in their players is only matched by the exciting Sky Sports News coverage on actual deadline day. The best thing about being a Manchester United fan today is that we got a really good Champions League group (Braga, Galatasary and CLUJ) AND Manchester City got a really really bad one (Real Madrid, Ajax, Borussia Dortmund). Last, but by no means least, FIFA! Today is a good day to be a fan of FIFA because they released their new television advert. It looks really really good and it's got me supper super excited. LOVE YOU GOOD BYE.

Football Shirts- Paddy

I have a dilemma. When Alex and I go out to play football, we often coordinate the colour of shirt we are wearing with each other and also our other friend Connor. This ensures we end up playing together and are therefore better as a team. We usually wear one of 3 colours; red, white or blue. For a red shirt I either wear a Charlton or a South Korea shirt. White is either Charlton's away shirt or England. Blue, however, is wear the issue lies. I usually wear an old Charlton away shirt, but now that shirt is too small for my hulking physique. This means I need to replace it with a new blue shirt that fits me. I have whittled it down to 3 choices. The choices are PSV's away shirt, an Italy shirt with Balotelli printed upon it, and lastly an Olympique Lyon away shirt. I know no-one comments frequently on this blog anymore, but I would buy the first shirt that a commenter picks from that line up. So please, make my choice for me.

Mobile - Alex

I am writing this post on my mobile phone whilst walking home (a long walk, may I add) from my friends house. Due to this it may well be full of typing errors which I don't have the motivation to correct. Before I tell you about my frankly amazing day I will state that it is a balmy 15 degrees right now so it is quite pleasant walking home in jeans and a t shirt. Now to tell you about my day. Well at 3pm my friend picked me up and took me back to his house from where we (after being joined by Paddy) walked to a local pub and all tucked into a mixed grill accompanied by 2 pints is carlsberg and then paddy and I both had a "gay desert" as they were labelled by our insensitive oaf of a friend.we then walked back to our friends house and played minecraft, gears of war and FIFA with pizza. It was very big amounts of fun. That isn't grammatically correct, but I don't care because I'm in a long, dark and scary alley. I'm sorry this blog is rubbish, but I want to focus in walking quickly so I can get home and poop. Peace out.

Anarchic- Paddy

Anarchy is defined as A state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority according to Google. Today my life descended into anarchy. In England traditionally, a roast dinner is served on a Sunday  however, today (a Monday) my mum prepared a roast. It was outrageous. I was indignant and slightly bemused. In fact I was so outraged that this is all I can say today. I will return wednesday with a less outraged blog.

Suit up - Alex

Today I am to attend a wedding and hence shall be clad in my finest suit. This is an exciting state of affairs as I rather enjoy wearing a suit. Sometimes, and you've got to promise to keep this a secret because it's rather weird, but when I'm bored at home I just put my suit on and marvel at myself in the mirror. I then tend to break into a little rendition of Barney Stinson's classic song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuAnZ7kcvOo

Whilst doing a quirky little jig. I'd like to point out that I only ever do this when there is no one else in the house, I would hate to be caught. Right now I need to actually go and suit up, I shall fill you in soon little one!

Not Summer- Paddy

I know I live in England, and I know that this means an entirely underwhelming summer is to be expected weather wise, but today is just making a mockery of the very concept of summer. It is August (if you weren't aware) and in the south of England we just had a full on thunderstorm with thunder, obviously, and lightening and torrential rain pouring down. It was even worse in the northern parts of England, with a football game in Sunderland being called off due to the waterlogged pitch. This clearly shows its been pretty effing wet today and the exact opposite of how summer should be. Normally at this time we have a half-hearted hosepipe ban and all the chavvy men in Farnborough walk around with their shirts off and slung over 1 shoulder. This has not happened at all apart from for 2 days in the middle of last week. I was forced to wear flip-flops in England. That's how summer should be. Not a monsoon-esque downpour that risks drowning those who keep their mouths open.

Magical happiness blog - Alex

This is a link filled blog, and from THIS POINT ONWARDS EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU CLICK WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.

Meat - Alex

As a red blooded, impulse following male I love to dig my canines into a slab of juicy meat. Rather luckily this little hobby of mine was entertained for last night as barbecue was on the menu! In terms of meat I gobbled up 2 burgers (the finest that co-op had to offer) and 6 sausages (the middle range that ASDA had to offer). The food was all very nice, however the weather was not. Upon arriving at my amigos casa the weather was just what you would want for a barbecue, sunny and warm. However after 30 minutes playing Skyrim on his bed (waiting for everyone else to turn up, naturally) the heavens opened and it rained cats and dogs. This subsided after a further 30 minutes, but it was enough to kill our idea of sitting in the sunshine. Don't you worry though reader, the obvious crisis was averted. The MEN went and cooked meat in the drizzly rain whilst the women cut bread indoors. Also, our alternative to sitting on garden chairs in the sunshine was to sit on the kitchen floor in the fluorescent light. My bottom got numb and my tummy began to hurt after a while. Firstly because I ate until my bottom nearly burst off and secondly because I laughed a lot.

There is my tale for today, speak to you in two days homie.

Release the Hamsters- Paddy

Earlier, I was thinking to myself: "How many hamsters would I need to buy in order to be able to create a self sustaining population in the UK countryside should I release them into the wild?"
Yes, I realise that was an unusual thought process, but it is still a thought I would like to extend into this blog.  My initial thought was 5 males and 5 females. However, I then realised 2 things. 1) That this does not seem nearly enough hamsters, taking into account hunting from other species and what not, and 2) hamsters have a harem based breeding system, with one male mating with multiple females. This means I would only need 1 male for every 5 females or so. This has led me to the estimate of 3 males and 15 females released into the wild countryside of Farnborough. This would be expensive, assuming £5 per hamster, totaling a minimum spend of £90.
Another issue I have with the initial thought is where in Farnborough would I release them. A hamster's natural environment is the desert, something distinctly lacking in North-East Hampshire. I thought initially I'd leave them on a local playing field surrounded by a small area of scrubland. This seems like the type of place that would have many small nuts and berries that the hamsters could eat.
Obviously, this is purely hypothetical and I'm not actually going to release 18 hamsters onto a field. That would be silly. Also as a newly impoverished student, there's no way I can afford the £90 start up fee.

I don't like this - Alex

Both me and Patrick have adopted a lazy attitude towards this blog which, I'm sure the 6 of you who are reading this, have noticed. It results in days without posts as well as days where not posting probably would have been more entertaining than the drivel that can be produced in a hurry. Why is it getting to the stage that we post in a hurry? Well I can only speak for myself, and sometimes there is a genuine reason to post in a hurry. But if I post after 10pm it is usually because I forgot about you in the day and then decided to rush through something spontaneous so not to disappoint. Using the power of thought I have come to the conclusion that this isn't the way a blog should operate and because of that when I join university (in roughly a month) I will stop posting every other day and instead will only post when I feel like I have some content worth your time. It may be that sometimes you get two posts in two days but it may also be that on other occasions you get one post a fortnight. I would like to thank the tiny proportion of our original readership (95% of whom must have been driven away by the decline in quality) who have stuck around and hopefully soon it will actually be quality over quantity. That's all I've got to say for now, but hopefully in my next blog I'll have something to tickle your funny bone with!

Short and Poor- Paddy

I have 5 minutes to type this blog. It will therefore be short and of poor quality. Today I had work for 4 hours and did not get paid, because my boss was not in. This means I have to face the hassle of going in to work tomorrow to pick up my money. Also today, I had a curry. I'm not a huge fan of curry, so I just had a Chicken Tikka and naan bread. 3 minutes to go. I then went to a friends house and played with fire, but It was in a controlled environment so that makes it all OK. You shouldn't play with fire outside of a controlled environment. Remember that guys. 2 minutes left. I have nothing left with which to fill this sentence, and now 1 minute to go. Time to title and post.

Bedding - Alex

Yesterday I bought some new bedding and I've come to the conclusion that I have nothing else in my life more interesting to talk about. All of my bedding came to quite a high price for bedding, with 2 double duvet covers, 4 pillow cases, a double duvet, a pillow and 2 4ft bed sheets it is quite a big order too. I'm looking forward to it all being delivered. No doubt it will be in a huge box, which, when emptied I can crawl inside and pretend I'm in a spaceship or a castle.

Another huge thing going on in my life right now? Ummmmm. The weather is pretty nice in South East England, and is forecast to be Mediterranean for the next week or so. It's got to the point where I'm even considering hosting a barbecue with meat and FIFA set up in the living room. I doubt I'd invite Patrick though, he isn't allowed in my house after last time... He did a poop in my house teehee.

Results Night- Paddy

Yesterday was my results day. I got BBC and got into Leicester, so that was pretty swell. To celebrate this event I went to a nightclub in a nearby town called Jaxx. To clarify, the club is called Jaxx, not the town. Last time I went to Jaxx it was a Friday night and on a Friday night Jaxx has "£1.50 night". Despite that being an awkward price, it does mean the drinks are very cheap and this makes it easy to get drunk. However, last night was obviously a Thursday. Thursday is not "£1.50 night". This meant it was quite expensive for drinks. A bottle of beer was £4 and a Jagerbomb was £3.50, an extortionate amount for either of those drinks. It also cost me a fiver to get in and a fiver for the taxi home. So, by the end of the night, I'd spent roughly £30 in total and would be described as "tipsy" or "rambunctious" at best. It was slightly underwhelming is what I'm saying. I did, however, have a very nice burger at a kebab shop at the station whilst I waited for my taxi. So that was a positive part of my night.

Pre-prepared - Alex

I can only apologise about my lack of post the day before yesterday, I promise you that I wrote one out and clicked publish and all. It was a short rubbish one from my phone late at night, but a post none the less. Anyway, as I write this it is actually still Patrick's day and I have just scheduled this to post on the morning of my day. The reason for this is so that I don't forget about you. As Patrick talked about yesterday (technically still today) we receive our A level results on the 16th and it is certainly the most important point in my academic career to date and certainly in the top 3 most important things in my whole life. Because of its importance it is more than feasible that I get caught up in a results based storm. For example my results could be much worse than I was hoping for and have to spend the whole day trying to convince different universities that I am worth a place on their courses. Or quite the opposite could happen and my results could be so good that to help me celebrate my Mum buys me hookers and i have to spend the whole day with them. So that's why I pre-prepared this.

Good night (even though it's now 7 in the morning)

Tomorrow- Paddy

Tomorrow might be the most important day of my life to date. At roughly 8 am, my A-Level results come online and I will have my place at university confirmed or denied. This is quite a big deal for me as it could potentially be a entirely life changing moment for me (my god, that sounds pretentious). Obviously, the weight of the results is hanging over me somewhat and I am slightly nervous for it all. On the other hand, I am also strangely relaxed because at this point in time there is little else I can do. In fact there is nothing I can do to alter what results I will receive tomorrow. We will just have to see how it goes, and by "we", I mean "I". On the off-chance that my results do go badly, I will still be able to go to university via a process called clearing, that I don't currently fully understand. I have a leaflet though to clear that up for me. I best go find that leaflet and give it a read.

Golf- Paddy

I am about to embark on a golf- themed night of drinking, and I am looking forward to it. I'm sat here in a polo shirt, sweater vest, golf visor and single glove and raring to down me some alcoholic beverages. Alex a;ready briefly mention this round of Pub Golf to you on Sunday. For those of you who want to know, the full rules (as set out by my friends on Facebook) ac

We are going to 9 pubs, and will be drinking a different drink in each pub. The par score refers to the number of times a drink is lifted to the mouth, rather than the number of gulps. Whilst the drink is raised to the mouth you must drink continuously. No straws are allowed. Each player can only go to the toilet 3 times, at any time they wish to. Any further toilet breaks will be penalised by 2 strokes. Any spilling of drink will be penalised by 1 stroke. Any person throw ing up will have a 5 stroke penalty. Any person not dressed in golfing attire will be penalised 10 strokes. The loser will have to do a forfeit of of the winner's choice  Fairly intense stuff. We have chosen a route of nine local pubs, including the one I work at, so that should be an interesting experience. I am expecting many violent upheavals of alcohol from the stomachs of those involved, and a long and arduous walk home at the end.

Sun burn - Alex

Please, silently judge me internet, just because I'm still counting this as my day for posting it doesn't mean there is nothing you can do about it.

Before you actually judge me too much I should clear up that I wrote this on Saturday afternoon and just scheduled it to post well before Paddy would wake up on Sunday to show him how frustrating it can be when a blogger can't stick to their day. At least when I don't post on my day I have the common decency to not post the next day either, out of sheer respect to the man I share this blog with. As I said previously I spent Thursday at the Olympics watching athletes be good at athletics. If I told you all about that you would get bored because no doubt if you care about it you already know what happened and if you don't care about it, well you don't care about it. But two things of note did happen; for starters the 80,000 strong crowd was unanimous in a group rendition of the YMCA and secondly I got awfully sun burnt and my face looks like a tomato and my biceps are the colour salmon. I rejected sun tan lotion though, because it's well square to wear it in England. And I wouldn't ever do anything knowingly square. But today I did procure a golfing glove and a visor. But that's not square because they are to accompany a night long drinking game. PUB GOLF.

Evening Session- Paddy

Don't you silently judge me internet, I'm still counting this as my day for posting and there is nothing you can do about it.
I was going to tell you all about my day at the Olympics because as Alex was, I too was at the Olympics on Thursday. We were watching different things though. I had tickets to the evening athletics session. This means I was literally sat right there in the stadium as Usain Bolt did that things he does so well and swaggered home in the 200m final. It means that I also saw the Kenyan David Rudisha set the men's 800m world record time with the first run under 1 minute 41 seconds. On a less widely appreciated note, I also saw several triple jumpers fall over whilst attempting to do their hops, steps and jumps. One of them was quite badly hurt though, so that was not so good. Also I saw a false start in a 1500m race, not even a proper 1500m race, but the one in the men's Decathlon. This made me wonder, why over a race of that distance does an athlete need to react so quickly? It's not like they haven't got enough distance to make up the 0.01 seconds they lose by waiting for the gun to actually fire. I also saw roughly a billion different medal ceremonies for events won by Americans and I kept having to stand up for the Star Spangled Banner and I was stood in front of an American lady who belted out the words every time. By the end I basically knew it. Something about seeing by the dawn's early light and the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Bed time - Alex

Just as I wa nodding off to sleep I remembered that I hadn't filled you in on what I've been doing in the last 2 days, so I will now do that as briefly as I can in order to return to sleeping as soon as possible. Yesterday I went to see the Olympics. Today I went to see the Olympics. Both days I watched athletics, and both times I had a jolly enjoyable day. I have, however, been awake since 5 so I call it snooze time. Nanight.

Turkey Leg- Paddy

Today, myself and 3 friends indulged in eating turkey legs. According to this website, turkey legs are the 7th manliest food, sandwiched between T-bone steak at number 8 and Beef jerky at number 6. The turkey leg I had was among the best foods I have ever eaten. It was large and filling and moist and tender and was ultimately a decent meal. On the negative side, it did, however, take a whopping 90 minutes to cook in my friends oven. 90 minutes is bordering on too long to wait for any food to be ready, but for the turkey leg it was worth it. Whilst we were shopping for foods, we did consider buying a duck to have instead of the turkey legs. However, a Frenchman in Asda convinced us otherwise, telling us it was hard work to cook a duck to a good standard. Also duck isn't even in the top 8 manly foods. Why would I want to eat anything not on that list? That would basically make me a woman, and I'm no woman.

Bad batteries - Alex

I'm a pretty clever guy, my evidence for this is that the title for this post relates to 2 things going on in my life right now! Firstly my phone battery has decayed to such a point that I get 2-3 hours usage out of a full charge (bloody Apple) so I plan to fork out £55 to have the battery replaced by an certified Apple outlet. It isn't toooooooooo bad because I got the phone for free and if I was offered a fully working iphone for a total expense of £55 I would snap your hand off.

Now for the second topic about "bad batteries", and it's about me. Normally I'm a pretty energetic guy, not too dissimilar to a Duracell bunny, however since returning from Tanzania it feels like I have been operating on half power. I always feel drained in the day time and often end up having a long nap in the afternoon (waking up a dribbly mess in crinkly clothes). Last night I got in at 1 (I went to the pub with Paddy) and struggled to sleep so ended up texting one sober and one drunk girl until 4 in the morning. 4! That is not a sensible time to be going to bed. When I eventually sprang (with sprang being a grossly misapplied word) out of bed at 10 this morning I shuffled about the house like a zombie. What I need is some Mexican music and lots of speed, that would perk me right up I reckon.

Magic Mike- Paddy

Earlier tonight, I went to see Magic Mike. It is a film about male strippers, and possibly the worst film I have ever seen. It might even be worse than The Devil Wears Prada, a film I granted the title of Worst Ever when I watched it back in year 8. Both are truly awful expiriences, and add up to 4 hours of my life I wish I had back.
However, since I saw Magic Mike I have consumed 5 pints of beer. This means I am typing this slightly drunk and it is taking a while. It is for this reason that I am going to end this blog short and call it here. I'll do a more substantial one on wednesday.

Jump in my car - Alex

Jump in my carI wanna take you homeJump in my carIt's too far walk on your own
(No, thank you, sir)Ah, come on I'm a trustworthy guy(No, thank you, sir)Oh little girl, I wouldn't tell you no lies(I know your game)
How can you say that we only just met(You're all the same)Ooh she's got me there, but I'll get her yet(I got you there)
No, you didn't, I was catching my breathAnd look it's starting to rainAnd baby you'll catch your death(Well, I dunno)Ah, come it comes nothing to tryAnd you'll arrive home nice and dry
Jump in my carI wanna take you homeCome on jump in my carIt's too far to walk on your own
Jump in my carI wanna take you homeCome on jump in my carIt's too far to walk on your own
(Well, maybe I will)Ah that's better now your talking sense(But you best keep still)Well, if you like I'll just put up a fence
(No need to get smart)Well, alright we'll soon be on our way(Well, we better start)What for?(Because it's such a long way)
Well, why, where'd you live?(I live down south, it's roughly 85 miles)Hey slow down, you must be jokingThere behind that cute smile(Oh no I'm not)
Well, if you're not, there's only one thing to say(And what's that?)Get outta the car get on your way
Get outta my car(But you just said that you'd take me home)Well, it's just too far
(But there's no way I can get there alone)I couldn't care less(Well, maybe I could see you next week)But you look a mess
(Well, look who's talking, you've got no right to speak)Get outta my car(You told me that you were a really nice guy)Ooh well, I ain'tWell, yeah get outta my carGet out, get out of my car

It's time for Shorts- Paddy

I have a rule that I have mentioned to you before. The rule is that "When attending a barbecue, a real man will wear shorts, no matter what the weather." It is a good rule, and one that I always stick too. In fact, I just put on a pair of shorts to attend an event being hosted by my friend involving the grilling of meat in an outdoor environment. However, I am slightly concerned that the slight breeze, combined with lack of sunshine and late end time of this event will lead me to regret my shorts. I can't back out now though, I've always worn shorts to barbecues. Alex even texted me earlier saying "I assume you are applying your 'it's a BBQ hence shorts are the only option' logic to your outfit this evening?". He was concerned he would be the only person brave and/or foolish enough to wear shorts in a less than summery atmosphere. I have come up with a solution to avoid getting chilly. It is drinking. I will drink alcohol until it's senses numbing abilities come into play. This will give me a "beer coat", and means I will no longer be a susceptible to getting chilly. This may also be irrefutable evidence that alcohol cures all issues.

Jambo - Alex

Jambo, last night I received a grumpy seeming text from Mr. Paddy requesting I did a blog yesterday. I was always going to find it difficult to complete his request because at the time of receiving his text (22:46) I was fast asleep. In an attempt to neutralise the inevitable anger I will have conjured up by going against the bosses wishes I shall hammer out a blog to be ready for when he wakes up today (normally around lunch time).

Obviously you've not heard much from me recently, I've been a little bit busy being in another country. Although if I'm painfully accurate I have been in 3 countries other than England since my last blog. To pad out this post and therefore decrease the amount of time until I can defecate and have a shower I shall show you a photograph.

That is me (and my more muscular and tanned compatriot) in only our boxer shorts at the top of Mount. Kilimnjaro. At the time that photograph was taken the temperature read roughly -20 degrees (that's -4 degrees for you Americans) and it felt it. Now stay tuned for a whole host more Tanzania updates from me in the coming days.

The Dark Knight Rises Again- Paddy

Well, instead of being able to regale of the glorious return of the Young Boys, as I had planned to tonight, I can not. Unfortunately, our opponents were not prepared to do battle of the 5-a-side pitch and thus our game has been postponed to next week.
On the plus side, this has freed up my evening and has enabled me to attend a screening of The Dark Knight Rises for the second time. I am very excited. Coincidentally, Alex is also seeing TDKR tonight (for the first time due to his Africa shenanigans), but with a different group of people. Isn't that a crazy, crazy thing? Well, its not that crazy, but I don't care because I get to see Batman again. YEAH.
On a completely unrelated note, Team GB won their first and second gold medals at the Olympics. First was in the women's double sculls rowing, which was nice. Second was the man of the moment, Tour de France winner, Bradley Wiggins in the men's time trial. He is good a cycling. Today's medal haul has boosted Team GB to 10th in the medal table as of when I had a shufti earlier. That is far more respectable.

He's back!- Paddy

Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back! Alex is back!
If you did not realise, Alex is back from Africa. He came home today and arrived back in the UK at roughly 9am-ish. At this point I was not awake. However, I soon caught up with him. We had a brief session on FIFA just now. Also we have already started reforming the Young Boys for a brief summer football league over August. It's all very exciting.

Olympics- Paddy

I was meant to blog on Friday, but I didn't. Its much harder to keep track of the days without Alex filling in the gaps.
But anyway, I move on. Yesterday was the opening ceremony of the London 2012 Olympic games! Very exciting stuff it was, with fire and dancing and many, many foreign people. However, rather confusingly, some of the sports had already started earlier in the week. Mainly football, because that takes a while to do the group stages. This morning the first Gold medal was awarded to a Chinese lady (surprise, surprise) called Yi Siling winning the 10m air rifle, with a score of 502.9. Apparently that's quite a good score. I wouldn't know. Also today a Kazakhstan athlete won the men's 250km road race in cycling. He had a long an unspellable name and cried when he won, which was sweet. Annoyingly, Mark Cavendish, a GB athlete, was supposed to win the race, but he got his tactics wrong and finished many seconds behind the Kazakh. This means that Team GB is now behind Kazakhstan in the medal table, and despite it still being early days, I'm slightly ashamed.

BBQ TIME!- Paddy

BBQ TIME! Well not quite yet. In about an hour I am going to go to a BBQ with some of my friends. I am looking forward to it very much. BBQs are one of my favourite food eating scenarios. I think its the  innate manliness of cooking meat on a fire, and the greasy and burnt finish you get to your food. In fact, at a BBQ I'd be more than a little put out if the food I received wasn't horribly blackened and burnt, that's just how BBQed food should be. It should also be accompanied by the wearing of shorts. Real men always wear shorts to a BBQ, no matter what the weather. Even in rain men wear shorts at a BBQ. Here's me in shorts at a BBQ I went to in February:

That's dedication to the BBQ right there.

Tan- Paddy

Today, after several long weeks and months of waiting summer arrived to the UK! YEAH! After one of the wettest June's I can remember, and a pretty wet July up until today, today was sunny and hot! It was like 25 degrees today. That might not sound much to you foreign chappies who live in warm countries blessed with sun and stuff all year round, but in England that is nigh on unbearable heat. It was nice. I have tanned quite nicely in the brief moment of light we had today.
Fortunately, I have will have much more opportunity to "top up" my tan over the next couple of days. Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday are  all forecast to hit 28 degrees, which for an Englishman is comparable to being buried in the middle of the sun, sat in an oven, wearing 8 coats (and not just light shower-proof jackets either, proper thick parkas with fleecy bits). By the end of this glorious spell of sun (Friday is only due to hit 27, basically freezing weather after the the peak in mid-week) I shall be a delicious looking golden brown. Something like this guy. Yeah!

Gnarly- Paddy

So yesterday I saw The Dark Knight Rises, as I told you I was on Thursday. It is, in my opinion one of the most epic and incredible films I have ever seen. It was unbelievable. It was gnarly*. I won't put any spoilers in here because I'm not that type of guy. I will, however, say that you should go and see it, and that it will be better than you expect, no matter how good you already anticipate it being.
I shall now change topic, as I don't want to write 2 full blogs about TDKR, it's not like I'm an obsessed fan-boy or anything. The next topic for today is going to be awful. I haven't planned this. I need to start planning things again. There used to be a time when I'd be all like "Hmm, what shall I blog about today?" and then I'd sit and think about it for a bit and occasionally I'd come up with a decent bit of content. Remember those days? They were the best.


*Gnarly is a word I want to use more. I'm not sure I can pull it off though.

TDKR- Paddy

My god I am one excited little sausage. This reason for my excitement is that I am seeing, along with several of my friends, The Dark Knight Rises tomorrow. It is going to be the best film ever, even better than legendary horror film Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf. TDKR is a film I have been looking forward to for many, many months now, and it is probably the film that I have cared most about the release of in recent years.
In order to prepare myself for the epicness of TDKR tomorrow, I went to my friend Olle's house today to watch Batman Begins and The Dark Knight back to back. This means that by this time tomorrow, I will have watched little under 7 hours and 40 minutes of Batman films within 30 or so hours of my life. This is not something I am ashamed of. To put that in context, I could have played over 5 full games of football (the English kind), or played 46 games of FIFA 12 (assuming I played 5 minute halves). I could also have played between 2 and 7 games of Monopoly, according to the average length of game.
My only concern for tomorrow is that the run time of the film is 2 and 3/4 hours. This means it is likely that, at some point during it, I will have to excuse myself to go to the toilet. This means I will miss some Batman, and this is sad. I may just have to take some empty bottles with me to fill up.

Graduation- Paddy

Today I would like to congratulate my 21-year old sister. For why? Today she graduated from the University of Exeter with a 2.1 History degree. That's not bad going. Due to seating limitations in Exeter, caused by all 300 or so History students also graduating today, I was not allowed to attend her graduation in person. However, I did watch it live-streamed on the internet. Isn't modern technology wonderful? Fortunately in Vikki's brief moment of glory between Someone Miller and Someone else who's name began with M, she did not make a fool of herself. Her hat didn't fall off, she didn't trip up, and she didn't accidentally cause a small fire to occur.
There is a downside to all this though. In fact there are 2. First of all, she has set an impressively high bar for me to reach when I hopefully begin my own History and Politics degree in September. This will be a challenge for me. Second of all, she now has to seek employment, and in the current economic climate this is somewhat difficult. Nevertheless, I have faith in both my sister's and my own abilities to procure employment and degrees.

Sacking- Paddy

I need to blog, and I foolishly promised you a long one on Friday. I had anticipated something exciting happening between now and then, but if I'm honest, my life has yet again failed to deliver the goods. This has left at something of a loss as to what to write for you, my beloved readers, today.
I shall, however, inform of one important event in my life. At my place of work, one of the members of staff, who for his own protection I shall refer to as Nigel. Nigel was being a lazy and argumentative worker and was therefor sacked by my boss! This meant when I went into work yesterday there was a new staff-mate of mine, whom I shall call Montague. Montague seems friendly enough and so that's all good.
I have now run out of events that occurred since Friday's blog to tell you about. Fortunately I now only have 3 more lines of blog to write before it is of acceptable length. I can do this. Unfortunately I can foresee this lack of content becoming an issue over the next couple of blogs, because I have no plans at all. NOTHING! I am concerned this blog may become a wasteland.

Late Nights- Paddy

Last night I had to stay up until 2.40am after I foolishly agreed to give some females I know lifts home from clubbing in Fleet. One of the girls lives in Aldershot, which is an approximately 30 minute journey (there and back). Tonight I have to stay up to roughly 2am to pick up my sister from her friends house, where they have been celebrating a 21st birthday. To occupy my self tonight, and to pass the time I have decided to watch the 2011 British science fiction comedy horror film Attack the Block. It is not a film I have seen before, but the concept of aliens in an inner-London tower block sounds promising. It is at this point I am going to end of this post, I apologise for the length of this blog, but it is distracting me from the film. I'll do a better longer one on Saturday.

Post-apocalyptic blog- Paddy

It is like a post-apocalyptic wasteland for content on this blog. It has been a whopping 8 days since somebody last did a post on here. That is a long ole time for you guys to go without a healthy dose of Paddy, and a slightly less healthy dose of Alex. You can put an end to your withdrawal symptoms now as I am back! Huzzah! Alex unfortunately is not back for another couple of weeks because his trip away is far more constructive and life changing than my week in Crete.
Speaking of which, I should probably tell you some details of said trip to Crete. There was heat. There was sun. There was mini-golf. There was a rather nice cocktail with a straw that was about 2ft long. There was a beach. There was a pool. There was a lot of reading next to said pool. There was a Greek beer called Alpha, or άλφα if you're Greek. There was grilled meats. There were crazy motorists.
From that list of things there were, I'm sure you are not really any the wiser as to what my holiday was like. To me that seems like it could just be a list of random phrases and things. Ah well. It's not like anyone's going to see this. I'm pretty sure our last 4 readers will have given up during the 8 day black out.

Inactive - Alex

So Paddy is away for a week and on Friday I go away for just over 3 weeks. I should be able to blog on Thursday but should I forget don't be hatin' on me because I'll have a lot to do so may not be able to. On Friday I am going to Africa, and more specifically Kenya. And then Tanzania. I actually am going to Tanzania, we are only using Kenya because it is cheaper to fly to or something. When I am in Tanzania I will be climbing Mount. Longido and then Mount. Kilimanjaro. I will also be building a playground in the town of Longido and planting trees at the base of Kilimanjaro. It promises to be a life changing trip. Well that's what it says on the itinerary, I just think that it'll be a worthwhile and unforgettable experience. Pointon out.

Early Start- Paddy

Tomorrow I have to get up at 5.50 am, which is a stupid time. This is because I am going on holiday to Crete for a week, and, obviously, this means I will not be online and blogging for you until next Tuesday most likely, at which point I will tell you all about it. Earlier a friend of mine asked me to pick her up from Guildford tonight at 2am, due to the fact she is clubbing there. I said no. I'm going to be needing more sleep than the 3 hours that would allow me. In fact, as soon as I finish this here blog post I am going to go to bed. This will allow me a whole 7 hours of sleep, which should just about see me through to the plane journey, at which point I can snooze again. I'm not even sure why I have to get up so early, my flight doesn't leave until like 10.30 or something reasonable like that. Its all the airports fault, being all scared of terrorism in this post 9-11 world and making people spend an unreasonable amount of time in duty free between checking in and departure. As if that 2 to 3 hour wait is going to stop a terrorist from terroristing. They might decide to just buy cheap cigars and alcohol rather than exploding. Maybe the wait is a good thing then, it saves lives. 

Brief - Alex

I promised you a picture of me and Paddy suited and booted so here it is, and it's a good time because I can't actually do a long blog today. You see in a short while I am going to the cinema with my mummy and sister (family time!). We are going to see Rock of Ages, I have however been made aware that it is a poor film, but having watched the stage show it seems worthwhile. Now feast your eyes on me and Paddy looking like the weakest security force ever!

Fragile- Paddy

Well, today I feel more than a little fragile. As Alex predicted last night, we did not get an awful lot of sleep in our tent, and we did indeed have a cooked breakfast from Bridge Road this morning. I feel that both of these were key contributor's into my current state of fragility. Obviously you all know I love my sleep, and to only get 4 hours last night was a bit of a killer. Also the cooked breakfast was somewhat salty and greasy, which made it harder to enjoy, but I did manage to keep it all down.
Fortunately, since this morning I have managed to have a successful journey home, with all my belongings and have a rather pleasant nap. I slept from 11 to 4.30, so actually longer than I slept last night. I am still yet to challenge my stomach to another bout of food, but I am beginning to get a little peckish now.
Last night, however, Alex felt even more fragile than I do now. He may have been sick in our friends garden a little bit. He also managed to fall straight asleep in the tent, despite the rest of us all being awake and therefore loud and drunk around him.
Finally, I'm afraid I have no pictures of Alex and myself suited up, so you will have to wait another day or two for that little ray of sunshine.

Erected - Alex

Don't be so immature. If you'd have read Patrick's blog yesterday then you would know what I was talking about. Tents. Between 12:15 and 2:00 me and a cluster of other friends all partook in the erecting of two tents. Each tent only took about 15 minutes, there were just other hold ups. The reason for the tents is that tonight me (and roughly 1500 sixth form students) shall be attending our "leavers ball". Our leavers ball concludes at 1 am so we figured that only a single hour after midnight was far too early to leave our friends and stop drinking. There we will probably continue boozing and then have a rubbish nights sleep in our friends garden. Who says teens have a drink problem nowadays aye? When we wake up (quite possibly worse for wear) we also plan to progress to everyone's favourite cafe (Bridge road cafe) and consume expertly cooked meat and caffeine filled drinks. How exciting?! Now I need to finish watching the tennis, have a shower and then suit up. Barney Stinson would well up with pride. I'm positive that if you ask nicely either me or paddy will show you a photo of us in our suits at some point in the near future.

Large Plan- Paddy

Sorry internet, I can only apoligise to you for my Alex-like missing of a blog day. I blame my lack of regulated weekly/daily routine. As college is now over and I have no regular way to tell what day is what and they have all merged into one long weekend. I have spent a inordinate amount of time over the last week playing FIFA and watching How I Met Your Mother. Also yesterday I went to local theme park, Thorpe Park. It was fun. However, tomorrow, I have large plans! Tomorrow My plan is as follows (as explained to my friends):Get to mine at 2, we then drive to aimee's to leave our stuff, we then then drive to ASDA as per usual and buy some food, following this we shall return to mine and consume said food, once food is consumed and cleaned up, we shall Suit Up!, having suited up we shall drink beer or other alcoholic beverages until roughly 6pm at which point a parent of mine will give us a lift to Robyn's. We shall spend approximately 1 hour at Robyn's before moving onto our college Leaver's Ball, then we shall drink and dance the night away until 1am, at which time we shall leave Leaver's and go to Aimee's house, once we arrive at Aimee's we will continue to drink until very early, at this point we fall asleep in a tent in Aimee's garden.
It is a good plan. 

Fluddufoousljebfavafd - Alex

After awaking from a nap inspired through boredom more than tiredness I decided to drag my body upstairs and write my blog for today, my main motivation being the fear of Paddy's disapproval were I to commit the cardinal sin of forgetting to post on my allotted day. Upon starting up my laptop and loading up alexnpaddy I thought that my eyes deceived me, but several page refreshes later I gleefully accepted that Paddy had forgotten to post yesterday. Not even his trademark "better late than never approach" of posting after midnight but before he goes to sleep. The reason that I am happy that the previously infallible Patrick has forgotten to blog is that it shows him that if even he is capable of not posting on his day for 2 running days then he must let me, the inferior human being, off for my previous blogging sins.

On a secondary note today Patrick is at a theme park (I was invited but declined) and whilst enjoying his day out we enjoyed a phone call at a time when a phone call would not typically be initiated. You see, Paddy was about to get onto a water ride, and as I'm sure you were taught as a child, water and electronics do not often cross to positive outcomes. However his phone is waterproof so I enjoyed (term used loosely) a 5 minute phone call full of wind noises and awkward ride commentary. None the less it gave me a paragraph of content for you slimey little so and so's though.

Pointon out.

Life on the edge - Alex

Having been off of college for 3 days now you probably expect me to have got up to some crazy stuff, me being an 18 year old and all? Well I've had a nap every day since finishing college, read 44 pages of my book, drank (according to a quick google search) 18 units of alcohol and started playing Call of Duty 4 with my friends again. This is particularly nostalgic because between the ages 13 and 15 (maybe) I clocked up over 14 days of play time. I just finished a game of team death match with a 16-4 kd ration using a silenced G3 and a Barrett 50. cal sniper I picked up on the match bog. Patrick, who is basically the only person who will read this, is awful at any Call of Duty game and I would put my head above the parapet and claim that he is drastically sub-standard on any shooting game. He won't try to refute this statement as he knows that he is rubbish at gun games. He spent his young days watching Charlton play and doing his homework.

You will notice that I haven't spoken about last nights football match. That's because I'm too upset.

England vs Italy- Paddy

I am about to leave my place of residence to go to a pub to watch England vs Italy in the quarter final of Euro 2012. I am somewhat tense about this. Despite, my tender years, I have seen England crash out of 4 major tournaments, that I can remember, and not even qualify for another. This has set me up for a somewhat disappointing and upsetting night. However, I can but hope that this time may be different, that this time is England's time. It is this hope that will either be inflamed further or crushed horribly by this game.
...
Time Passes
...
It is now after the game, and England lost 4-2 on penalties. I don't care that its after midnight and  no longer my day anymore. England lost, so that is more hurt for me. I was forced to go to a different pub and drink myself  into oblivion to try and outweigh the disappointment of another England defeat on penalties. I now have a distinct dislike for anyone called Ashley due to both their misses and a hatred for the now 87 year old Andrea Pirlo for his stupid little chip. 

2 years - Alex

So it would appear that I have managed to stumble through 2 years of college and come out the other end as a greatly improved individual. Firstly when I began college I was but a weedy 16 year old trying to not be judged by the cool kids, but now I'm a weedy 18 year old trying not to be judged by the cool kids. You see the difference there? Yup, you're right, it's that when I get sad now I can buy fireworks and knives to cheer me up. The main bad thing is how bored I'm about to get. I have been off of college for only 24 hours and I've already spent noticeably longer than my much higher than normal average time on the porcelain throne. I'm not too sure if that last sentence made sense, basically I've spent even more time than normal on the loo. I have, and I think this sums up how bored I am, started reading a book. 1 day off of college and I start reading a book! Crazy stuff. I'm going to leave you now because my Dad is asking me if I want to go with him to get his badminton racquet restrung, I might do. It's either that or another poo.

A beaver eating a carrot- Paddy

My sister is 21, her friend, who is currently in my living room with her, is also 21. They have spent the last 2 and a half hours watching episodes of iCarly, which is aimed at 12 year old girls. I was about to mock them ruthlessly for watching it, however, Jack Black just appeared in this episode and that has made it awesome. OK, he has gone now, so I will return to gently mocking them. They are watching a TV programme for 12 year olds and that is silly. Also, did I mention her friend is male? I did not. He is a 21 year old male, watching iCarly.
I have now run out of things to say about my sister watching this programme. So to fill time and space and draw this lacklustre blog to an end, here is a picture of a beaver eating a carrot.