Achey breaky legs - Alex

I've just got out of the bath; it had bubbles in and smelt citrusy and fresh. The reason for needing to sit in warm water as opposed to my favoured method of washing (showering) was that my legs are stiffer than Patrick around a sexy sexy lady. I'm so crude. My legs were in pain because I've just played my first 11-a-side football (soccer) match in well over a year. The team I played for was my Mexican friend’s padre's team, full of real men with beer bellies and rude diction's. I was asked to play because I'm somewhat famous for my footballing ability, only kidding, they were short on numbers and desperate for players. Overall I'd say I enjoyed it, but I'll tell you what, it was hard work. I've given my thighs, hamstrings and calves a liberal spritzing of deep freeze and for now I'm not in such pain, but tomorrow morning I do expect to be walking like a zombie, just without the moaning.

SURPRISE SUBJECT CHANGE

It has been over a month since I passed my driving test and except for my tussle with a concrete pillar I have not had any sort of incident, which keeps my insurers and as a result my back pocket happy. But petrol prices? So ridiculous, I think a car that ran on liquid gold and rainbows would be about as expensive to fill as my 1.2 litre Renault Clio, hardly a big car. I'm not too sure how a car could be powered by rainbows though, I shall endeavour to get my science teachers to think about it and get back to me, and I will in turn get back to you.

For now it is goodbye, but don't be upset, in just a days time you get to hear from Patrick, surely that's something to look forward to?

The game of Life - Paddy

The title of my blog refers not to a rather philosophical take upon the nature of life itself, but rather a children's boardgame. Sorry, if you were excited to hear some deep meaning philosophies and statements that could be eternally quoted but I don't really have that strong an opinion on the great game that is life.
The children's boardgame to which I refer is The Game of Life, in which you the player must move through all the pitfalls of adult life, from university to retirement, whilst trying to amass a personal fortune in both cash and assets. Earlier, upon my sisters insistance, I partook (is that a word?) in a game with her and her friend. This is a fairly regular occurence, yet my sister was without victory at life in well over a year. Her failure to live well had indeed become a running joke amongst several of her friends and family. But today, today, Vikki won at life. She successfully amassed a fortune of £2,590,000, which is a fair amount in this game. She was excited and even posted of her vicotory on facebook thusly:
FINALLY I have defeated my arch enemies Paddy and Joel at game of life after about a year! I am VICTORIOUS!!
She is not a cool person.
This has been a fairly disappointing blog for you I imagine. Either due to lack of philosophy or because you have no interest in Vikki's winning-ness. Sorry for that.

BANANA BREAD - Alex

OMFG, it's only 9 minutes until the banana bread is due out of the oven. As you can probably tell I am very very very excited, this is because I freaking adore banana bread. I always say that there's two ways to my heart, banana bread and through my ribs. I've never ever said that before, I don't know why I claimed I've always said that. Earlier today I convinced my younger sister, Emma I think she's called, to bake me some banana bread with her friend. Not using her friend as an ingredient, using her as an accomplice. I can smell the sweet aroma wafting up from the kitchen as I type this, my stomach is rumbling like there's an angry midget trapped in there and my mouth's getting wet. I feel like Pavlov's dog, waft banana bread aroma at me and I get all excited, giddy, hungry and so on and so forth. 4 minutes! 4 minutes! My sister ridiculed me for not knowing that bicarbonate of soda was baking powder, I don't think that for a 17 year old boy it is a pivotal piece of knowledge. She also informed me that we didn't have a tin suitable for baking banana bread in, after she'd made the mixture, so I had to nip to the supermarket to buy a bread tin. 3 quid! 3 quid! It's worth it because in 2 minutes I get banana bread, banana bread! 1 minute! I'm leaving you now!

I hope you've enjoyed reading this exclamation mark filled and excitement sodden blog. Love you readers <3

Lazy Blog - Paddy

Righty-oh, its blogging time! The time for blogs to be written and posted and then enjoyed by the masses. Its also simultaneously Top Gear time on Dave. Dave is a TV channel, not a person just in case you got confused by that.
Anyhow, today I am being lazy, and I mean especially lazy. It is now 12.59 English time, well it won't be when you read this, but as I write its now 13.01. I digress. I raise the issue of the time as I currently am yet to get dressed. Sat on the sofa, typing this blog in my jammy shorts, I haven't even had any breakfast yet. Something I will rectify now. Breakfast is now done. I ate a muller crunch corner and had a glass of full fat milk. It was quite a cold meal.
Breaking news! As I type Vikki and her "friend" Stephen have returned from the pub and started to disrupt my blogging by having a fight in the middle of my living room. It was fairly distracting. Fortunately they are done now, I believe Stephen won. He just started to stroke me. I don't like it.
Thats completely thrown me off my stride, so I am going to go now and do something else. Maybe I'll get dressed, who knows?!

A drunken milf - Alex

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

BBQ- Paddy

Hey guys, how are you all today? Good to here it. Are you looking forward to reading this blog? Oh, really, you prefer Alex? I might just stop here then.





I'm only joking! I don't care that you prefer Alex. I really don't. Honestly I could not care less. Ok well maybe I care a bit, but not enough to not bother writing this anymore.
Moving swiftly on, this blog is now statistically more popular on the far side of the Atlantic ocean or the near side if you live in the Americas. People from Europe, Africa and Asia, pick it up a bit, get viewing man/woman. People from Australia and the surrounding regions, I don't care about you. That's a joke, I love all my readers equally.
New paragraph! Today I have a BBQ. I am going to wear shorts because that is the done thing at a BBQ in the UK. It's like Australians and getting drunk at BBQ with many a shrimp or Americans and not having a salad bowl.
That's me done for the day, not that any of you will read or enjoy this.

Superior blogger - Alex

Yesterday Patrick informed you of his sacking from his managerial mode on Fifa 11, he even told you about his spending of £100 million on bench warmers. This demonstrates that Patrick is rubbish. Whilst Football Manager 2011 is a slightly different art than Fifa I am still hoping to impress you with a quick summary of my first season as Darlington. We won the league - by over 20 points. We were the leagues highest scorers, as well as having the tightest defence in the league. We also won the unheard of FA trophy. My actions in the transfer market were so successful that the star striker I brought in for free is wanted by Blackburn Rovers, that's right, a conference striker wanted by a premier league team. Most readers will be bored of this so I'm going to go into the other reasons I am better than Paddy;

1- I am better at being strong
2 - I am better at spotting bunnies
3 - I am a better word make-uperist
4 - I am better at being not mean, although I'm still a horrible person
5 - I fit in better with vampires due to my pale complexion, so if vampires take over the world I am in a better position to be one of the final humans left than Patrick is
6 - My hair is more of a talking point than Paddy's
7 - I have better legs
8 - I have neater eye brows and eye lashes
9 - I don't tell you I'm going to do a blog at three in the morning and then not do that!
10 - I'm more commited, when I write lists I get to double figures

There you have it, I am sure as hell better than Patrick at the ten things I wrote on that list just up there. So hopefully that makes me better overall? If there's any uncertainty I guess we'll have to fight it out, Harry Hill style.

Sacking- Paddy

Today I was happily playing FIFA, it was mid-October in game and I was 6th in the league, top of my champions league group and through the early rounds of the league cup. All was well if a little slow to start after my previous 4 league titles, 3 champions leagues, 2 league cups and 2 FA cups. And then I received an email from the chairman. Apparently my record wasn't good enough and I was sacked. Sacked, just for being a handful of points off of the league leaders. I was outraged and a little baffled. I was forced to search for other clubs but with the squad I'd built at my current club, it would have been futile to try and compete with them. What team on earth could compete with a side who pre-season spent over £100million on substitutes? It would have ruined my enjoyment of continuing that career. Instead I made a bold move and created a new career mode from scratch, promptly overwriting the one from which I'd been sacked. I'm a big child like that, if I'm not winning, I don't want to play.
If you don't like FIFA I imagine you can't see what the fuss was about, if you are such a person, talk to a FIFA playing friend about this. Then you'll feel my plight. And what plight it is.

No Ken = no wyne - Alex

Today I went to watch a football match with people that play football to a high standard frequently and Aldershot. That introduction is strange because it was actually Aldershot who left the Recreation ground victorious, the reason for Stoke's defeat, if you're reading Tony, is that you refused to play the goliath that is Kenwyne Jones. It is widely known in the football community that Kenwyne, along with Messi, Ronaldo and Samba is in the worlds elite class of player. Not only is he hench (HE'S MASSIVE!) but his back-f;ipping ways prove he is agile too. Enough about my crazy man crush and onto a proper subject.

Suction cups. Today I spent £8 on a really really strong suction cup. It doesn't even work on my face, so I feel partially ripped off. However it does do the job it was purchased for with ease, I got it with the intention of pulling out the dent in my car and I'll tell you what I was really surprised by how well it did work. So here's a piece of advice, if you get a dent in your car either ask me to borrow my super suction cup or buy your own.

So after a poor blog I hope you're not too annoyed at me. Love you.

Camels at 3am - Paddy

Hello Internet peoples! I am back, the prodigal son of blogging has returned to Alex'n'paddy. How was Lanzarote? I hear you crying that question at your screens. Well, to answer your plea, it was good, warmer than the UK and full of cacti. Also I rode a camel that looked like Hannibal Lector up a volcano. What more could a young boy want? Except boobies, guns and dinosaurs. Now that would be a good holiday.
Now whilst I was away Alex pointed out I didn't blog at 3am as I suggested I might. That is because 3am is very early, and I'm not good at early. The best you would have got might have been 3 sentences along the lines of: Tarnation, this is early. I have to go now, see you in a week. That wasn't even the 3 sentences I said a few lines ago, because that's what people are like at 3am. So I'm sorry if I disappointed you by not doing that but not really, because you weren't up at 3am. If you by coincidence were up at 3am then I really am sorry.
Now you're all satisfied with my return I shall go and wash myself. Tata or, as they say in Lanzarote, Tátá (they don't actually say that, it just looks spanish-y. For all I know it may mean "I hope you horses explode")

Potential fatality - Alex

Yesterday I very nearly died through copious amounts of blood loss. You may well be aware that I went to see Harry Potter yesterday, you should know that I dislike Harry Potter, because of that I was bored. I decided to channel this boredom into fiddling with the ring pull on my can of pop, however I managed to slice the end of the pointy finger on my left hand. I can imagine you're only thinking of a paper cut size gash, well you are wrong, it was somewhere between this and this. Just a word of warning, them links probably aren't for the faint hearted. It would probably make more sense to put the warning before the links. Oh well, it's effort to change it now.

Second topic, my car is now just a touch more like Jason Statham. And by that I mean it is more rugged than it ever was, you see yesterday as I parked my car in preparation for the cinema trip a pillar jumped out at me and decided to scratch and dent my car. It's not horrific, just character adding, like a beard, or those lines men get next to their eyes when they enter middle agedom when they've been in the sun and laughed lots. Laughter lines?

Anyway I need to go and push Darlington towards the Blue Square Premier League title so I shall talk to you on Saturday, adios :)

Workaholic - Alex

Today I have to put actual effort into things. Urgh. I am currently 22 words into a biology essay about the need for pest management that I plan to whiz through and complete by lunch time. Then after what I’m certain will be an unhealthy and quick lunch I intend to clean out my car. Not only do I have wrappers sorts in certain cubby holes but some doofus (Will) got chocolate on one of my back seats, so to keep my car at the pinnacle of luxury I'll have to deal with that. Next up after the home car valet is a trip to the library to pick up some books about the development of warfare from 1845-1945. Riveting stuff. These books are for my history coursework, which is actually pretty important, so I deem it a necessary evil. Mixed in with these tasks I have to empty the spare bedroom in preparation for new carpet to be laid. With this sort of day lined up I have nothing to look forward to, nothing whatsoever.

But in stark contrast to the tedium of today tomorrow I get to go and see the new Harry Potter film, in theory that is good. But in reality I'm not too excited because I hate Harry Potter, sure I'd get on Emma Watson but the films, books and whole hysteria around the spectacled wizard do nothing for me. Why am I going if I dislike the film? Well firstly it is one of my acquaintances birthdays soon so we are going to sort of celebrate his birth anniversary. Secondly, I believe I got roped into it because of my wheels and henceforth my ability to transport other cinema goers to the pictures. So I'm being used. Great.

Dissatisfiedly yours

Alex

Scary sky - Alex

Whilst the sky is unleashing an all mighty downpour on the world outside my window I'm all cosy listening to the Mac. And not the history teacher from my old school, he'd probably get in all sorts of trouble for that. The Mac in question is/are Fleetwood. Fleetwood Mac.

I just fell asleep for a bit, now it's no longer raining. That sort of makes the rest of this blog redundant. It says a lot about my current mood that I've actually resorted to chatting about the weather.

I'm gonna scoot off and work on something a little different for you, I'm positive you'll the rewards, just give it some time. Sorry readers.

Pastafarian - Alex

Pastafarian - it sounds like the punchline from a bad joke.

What do you get if you cross Bob Marley and the Dolmio Man?
A pastafarian

But to my great surprise pastafarian is actually a real religion, if not a light hearted one. It first came to my attention after reading this silly news article. Unsurprisingly enough the religion originated across the pond in the good ol' U S of A, and something I find curious is that Austria don't yet recognise it as an official religion, are they crazy?! The flying spaghetti monster is equally as credible as that Jesus bloke, and I'd say more credible than Vishnu. Obviously I'm just goofing about, I'm not being religionist, but it this religion does highlight how satire and such can make a statement. Whilst the link I'm about to post is from wikipedia, and every teacher I have had has warned me away from wikipedia's poisoned pool of knowledge it is actually a pretty interesting read. So here - lap that up like a kitten would lap up a warm dish of cream. Feel the humorous goodness trickle down you.

For today my blog is done, but I would like to draw it to your attention that Patrick is a liar. He said he would blog at 3 in the morning yesterday, and did he? NO! So hate on him whilst he's away for getting your hopes up and then violently cutting them down.

France - Alex

As quintessential Englishmen me and Patrick have a long standing dislike of the French pumped into our system from a young age. It's not racist, it's old fashioned. However in my case one French man is fighting back this long standing tradition and making me adore something about France. For a long while now I have been aware and in awe of a Frenchman from France called Remi Gaillard. If you are unfamiliar with Remi then have a quick perusal of Youtube here, here and here. As you can see this guy has balls, if you didn't watch the videos he doesn't show his gentleman's area, he just does things to people that require a certain amount of self confidence and stupidity. I do appreciate that mot French inhabitants aren't croissant munching, beret wearing, garlic accessorising mimes. However not only does Remi have facial hair some of the time, which can make me love someone, but he is fun. Now I've been to France, more than once even, and I really wish I had a good French anecdote but I don't, so now I look like a proper chump. I guess I cold tell you that for breakfast I made myself some French toast and poured some syrup over it, washed it down with a cup of coffee. I wasn't even fully dressed. Does that count as a French anecdote? I sure hope so.

For now and also the next 48ish hours it is good bye from me.

Paragraphs - Paddy

Hello blog lovers, friends of pat (or paddy as you might know him) and passers-by.

Hello again, I know I said that but a line ago but that was a guest appearance and greeting on my blog by my older and more female sibling. I thought you'd like to get to know another member of my family after alex's introduction to my father the other day.

Anyway I come to you with two pieces of news. Firstly I have decided to employ a layout of shorter snappish paragraphs in this blog. I think it works and it helps those of you with low attention spans to pay attention. Also it's means I have to write less, so everyone is a winner.

Secondly and sadly, I am going to the Spanish dependency of Lanzarote on Thursday for 1 week. This means that the post I do at about 3am on Thursday will be the last for a week. I apologise for any inconvenience this may cause to your life over those few days.

Peace Out!

Nomadic blogging - Alex

Like a hermit I have been moving about for my most recent blogs, none of my last three blogs (including this masterpiece) were written on the same device or even in the same location. One has been thrashed out on my humble laptop, one on a more modern iPad and then this work of beauty is being typed out on a retro desktop style PC, seriously. I'm having my mojo blocked my best friend/acquaintance being inconsiderate and playing with a mini fan, and by that I don't mean someone who enjoys reading our blog but is also very little.

You know what else is very little?

Patrick's bmi and also Patrick's appeal to the opposite sex.

One of them is true and the other of them is true to everyone on the planet except for Patrick, he's convinced he's the more Arabic looking Casanova. Whereas I would have you know that when it comes to seducing the women we're both god awful. we both lack the swagger exhibited by Destorm in this video. He would call you mother chuckers, but I'm just not that naughty, I would like to call you ragamuffins. At this current moment in time I am unsure what ragamuffin means so to help you feel connected to me we can discover the meaning at exactly the same time.

A ragamuffin is someone, especially a child, who is dirty and has torn clothes.

In that case I take it back, I wouldn't want to offend you, I assume few of you are very dirty, only Patrick ;)

Holistic - Paddy

I just did a weird task to help out my father. I had to move a large plant from my dining room to my garden on a small trolley. Why? The plant in question, a swiss cheese plant, or Monstera deliciosa if you're middle class, had grown far to large and needed to be moved into an area in which my female parent could trim it back down to suitabel size for internal storage. I imagine none of you care about the tribulations of swiss cheese ownership and can't wait for me to move on to the proper subject of my blog. Well there isn't one. All I have to offer you is plants and maintence of them, if you are that upset/bored by this, you can look at this picture instead or go play games here. You can come back in a couple of minutes to finish and read the last couple of lines where I say good bye and what not.
Now, I know that only 3 lines previously I declared there was no second topic. I lied. My second topic is the word Holistic. Holistic according to google means:
ho·lis·tic

adjective /hōˈlistik/  Characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole Characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical symptoms of a disease I am currently interested in this word as recently I watched the BBC adaptation of Douglas Adams' book Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency starring Stephen Mangan. Keen readers will of course remember my previous reference to Dirk Gently in this blog. I intend to use the word holistic in more everyday circumstances and already slipped it into my history work. Now to quote someone I'm sure "Until we meet again".

Techy blogging - Alex

Hello babe xx. Love you and you love me :) xx Alex I love you xx

That is a sentence written by my younger sister, she was testing out the keyboard on the iPad my father posseses. My papa is something of a "tech nut", he works within IT so I guess it's only natural for him to have an interest in the activities that occur on the forefront of technology. He recently updated his television to a model that sometimes requires you to wear glasses, that's right, it's one of them cheeky 3-D tings. He was delighted when he found out that the wimbledon tennis finals were to be broadcast in 3-D, he even recorded the men's final so that he could show me how snazzy it looked!

I'm holding the tablet upside down now!

I've watched football in three dimensions before, Chelsea's defeat of Manchester United the season before last if memory serves, but that was in a busy and frighteningly masculine public house where I was afraid to talk through fear of an inebriated Chelsea fan tearing my arms off. Watching the 3-D telly at home was certainly impressive, just a shame Nadal gets so many wedgies, some things aren't better in such detail.

Soon I am taking my Dad out to lunch to celebrate him getting even older, soon his newest piece of tech will be a stair lift! Happy birthday in a a public format dude, for yesterday. And as for you rascals (blog readers whos testes I didn't come from) I shall speak to you in roughly two days time, respect.

Late night blogging - Paddy

FML. I had typed out a lovely blog, albeit rather hastily to make sure it was on my day, and then accidentally deleted all of. Yes all of it. Now I'm sure you are all currently thinking why not press ctrl+z and undo that? I don't have an undo function on my IPod and that is overly frustrating. It was a good blog I'd written as well, you'd have loved it, but now you'll never read it. Your life feels hollow and empty now I'm sure. I also imagine your wondering why I don't just re-write the same blog again so you'd be none the wiser to my klutz (is that spelt right? It looks weird) like manner but I just took sons high grade roofies and can't remember it. Actually that's a lie. I don't have roofies, I'm just too lazy to retype it. Infact I don't have any drugs at all except the usual ones like paracetemol, tea and coffee, heroin etc.
Omg! Only 2 minutes to post in! I'm going to call it here! Too many exclamations!




PS I dont have heroin either. Drugs are for mugs and other such characters.

Your taxi awaits - Alex

One thing about having a driving licence is that people, mostly people without driving licences, ask for lifts to and fro. Today I did my second proper lift, I've ferried people about before but I see a proper lift as going out of your way for the benefit of the lucky passenger, or passengers. On Saturday night, pre Haye getting destroyed, I took some ladies 25 minutes away in return for eternal access to their lady parts, well they didn't say that, they just gave a couple of quid and let me help them carry their bags. Today I picked up another female! She had been left at work, stranded, and rang me up desperately asking for my help. Like the superhero I am I left after just a quick tinkle and sped (within the speed limit) to her centre of work. Once she was sat in my car and I had the Wham blaring she directed me to the very house where her significant other resides. For me saving her from the pack of wolves that I'm sure prowl about near laser run (I know, she must have the funnest job ever) she is gonna slide a few pounds my way on Monday. The only thing is right now I'm always unsure on how much to charge people, I tend to just say a number and then judge from their reaction if it's too low, too high or just right. Although I prefer to start high and work my way down to fair, because once a Turk promised me a certain price and then when he tried to up it I was having none of it, he was a silicon burk.

I need to go and make myself a beef casserole, goodbye friend.

Google - Paddy

Google is magnificent. It can find anything. If I wanted to know, for example, what country had the largest population of sheep, then Google would tell me the correct answer. This trait of the interweb is very useful for young chaps such as myself with a insatiable hunger for useless trivia. Obviously there are alternative search engines one could employ; bing, yahoo, jeeves among (amongst) others, but I personally view the great and mighty Google to be superior, and not just because they run our blog. However, Google may be racist. If you go to search 'Why are.....' Google will predict that you are searching racial stereotypes or slurs. Not that I'm dissing Google. And I didnt just add that last sentence out of fear of my Lords and Masters.My phone is running out of battery and keeps buzzing violently at me so I'm so for the poor quality of this blog, please don't leave me!

An ode to papa Milnes - Alex

Today sir is your birthday
My admiration for you I do not even have to say
Your chest hair is bare manly
Whereas I'm adolescent and gangly
Many say 49 is the big one
To me every birthday means a tonne
I hope you get lots of London Pride
I'm informed that's the bitter that makes you elide
To me you are so beautiful
For the pleasure of meeting you I am thankful

I wrote Patrick's Daddy a poem because it's his birthday! Patrick's father is called Andrew and does something to do with IT or pensions or something. He has a dodgy knee and drives a blue Toyota Rav-4. He is a keen Charlton Athletic fan (BIG UP THE ADDICKS) and his larger of choice is Stella Artois. He has two children, one of whom is very beautiful and the other blogs with me. He lives for the chase, well he lives in the chase, it's what his cul-de-sac is called. Now you're all allowed to be with Patrick in relationship form because you've all but met his father, hopefully I've saved you some time.

Coles - Paddy

Today my newspaper, the Daily Mail (DON'T JUDGE ME), reported a story about a celebrity couple getting back together. I imagine it was reported elsewhere too, but I only read the mail. The couple in question is Ashley Cole, the soccer player, and Cheryl Cole, everyones favourite Geordie. Well, she's only Englands favourite, America have no idea what she is saying. All they here is lots of high pitching ooing and aahing, interspersed with many a "pet". Anyway, back to the eponymous (look it up if you're unsure) couple, they were alledgedly seen kissing last Friday at Cheryl's 28th Birthday party. After this shocking moment, Mr Cole, that is Ashley not Cheryl's dad, told his mates "I'm going to marry Cheryl again, its what we both want." To avoid a lawsuit I imagine i should include a link to the story on the Daily Mail's website. A link that can be found on the 6th word of this sentence. I imagine at least 4 of you got really indignant that I in fact put the link on the 5th word! Muahaha, get over it.

On a completely unrelated note, unless you are Dirk Gently, Alex and I have our final game of our 5-a-side season tonight. We are going to be destroyed. We will beaten more heavily than the eggs in a finely made meringue. You may be questioning why I am so certain about this. Its because we aren't very good and our opposition is second in the league. If we lose by single figures then I'll be pleased.

Also before I go, we have now done what the British Empire failed to do, maintain a fanbase on all 6 continents! Thats right, Australia joined the club. Now the sun never sets on Alex'n'Paddy readers! Not that we condone Empires and world domination in any way.

Hide and seek - Alex

On Friday night me and my fellow blogger Patrick both filled our cars with people we know and went to the prom for the year below us at our old school in order to see our teachers for a bit. After that though we had time to kill and two motors, so I'm sure you can guess what us two teenage boys with cars and rubber to burn did. That's right, we played hide and seek. You should be familiar with the objective of this age old game; one team has to hide whilst the other has to locate them with the utmost haste. But how do you play it with cars? Well one team has 5 minutes to drive to wherever they want, and then via text message or SMS they must give the other team a clue as to where they are hiding. For one example Patrick and his team hid at a local train station and the clue we received was "A long way from the Orient Express". After that clue we went to the other train station in our town (so big time we have two) and then we went to a Chinese restaurant. We didn't get it but I'm hopeful I've helped you to understand how this game is played. I hope if any of you are young or still childish at heart I would thoroughly recommend, but also drive safe, wouldn't want to be responsible for any ones actual death, that would be a downer.

Move over Murray - Paddy

Andy Murray is a poor, Scottish excuse for a tennis player. However, the glorious nation of the United Kingdom needn't give up hope, yet as on the horizon are 4 rising stars of tennis. Namely Alex, myself, Olle (a friend of ours) and Will (a boy we don't like but was invited to make up a decent quartet). We played 2 sets of tennis in pairs and after two hours of arduous and tense play, Alex and Will ended 6-2, 7-5 victors. As is usual for the victors in tennis games, they promptly fell to the floor as if grievously injured and wept salty tears of joy. Me and olle, actually, Olle and I (let's have correct grammar shall we?) also fell to the floor as if grevously injured and wept salty tears, this time of sorrow. All of us then realised that this wasnt Wimbledon yet, and that another group was waiting for the court so we sheepishly stood up and sloped off home.
Later that very same day (I'm now writing about the future as if it was the past, unless you read this tomorrow in which case I'm just writing about the past), we reunited along with other friends at yet another friends house to watch two large men beat each other into a pulp and that was fun. Haye/Klitchsko absolutely battered/just edged out Haye/Klitschko (delete as appropriate).
Talk later bbz xoxoxo

Manhood part II - Alex

Recently the lesser blogger became a man by passing his driving test, incurring six minors whilst completing aforementioned test. Well yesterday I replicated Paddy's accomplishment, well if by replicated you mean improved upon. He'll be reading this and calling me all sorts of words that refer to the sensitive male anatomy part. I mentioned that Patrick got 6 minors, well yours truly amassed 2, plus one of them was stalling as I pulled away from the test centre, which was annoying.

Another thing I did yesterday in order to prove my manhoodity (now a word) was give blood, I am so rugged that I can dispense of a pint of my blood and only need a little lie down after it. Rugged I tell you! On a serious note if you live in the UK and are aged above 17 I sincerely urge you to sign up to be a blood donor, for an hour of your time and some negligible discomfort you could save a life, surely that's enough good karma to keep you going on bad deeds for years?

Finally yesterday as a means to counteract turning into a man I watched "The Notebook", a cute film about and old couple and a young couple, but the old couple are the young couple! I believe it is a film aimed at them women people, which is lucky because I was with a bosomed (also now a word) human.

I hope you have enjoyed this insight into my Thursday the 30th of June, also I hope you have taken a shine to my more liberal use of paragraphs, you're just worth it.