Black Markets- Paddy

Today, I must blog. Tomorrow, I must not. This is the way of the joint blog. Or at least I presume it is, I've never looked for another joint blog in this style. I am forced to assume that amongst bloggers we are unique and therefore, by default, the best blog of this style on the internet.
Mildly arrogant introduction aside, I must move on to a topic for the rest of this blog. Vikki just read out a headline from the Newspaper. It read "DOGNAPPED! Litters of puppies stolen. Thousand pound ransoms. Inside Britain's cruellest black market". Now, the stealing and trafficking of pets whilst being a fairly nefarious deed is a far cry from the cruellest of black markets. I'm pretty sure that Prostitution, Slavery, Drugs and Child Labour are all crueller markets than the kidnap of someones labradoodle. Not that I am condoning the ransom-ing of labradoodles or any other pet for that matter. I just think that the typically middle class paper I get has got it's priorities wrong in regards to the ranking of cruel black markets.
New topic! A conundrum in my life has arisen! On a Friday evening at 7-8 I usually play football. However, England are playing football at almost exactly the same time. This gives me a huge dilemma as to which to choose to do. I think I shall leave now, because I am upset and can't deal with blogging in this state :(

Yawnathon - Alex

I woke up eleven minutes ago, my alarm brutally awoke me from my slumber in order for me to get stuff done before lunch time. I hate getting up late. At the moment I am yawning an awful lot (hence the title), once in a book I read the phrase "drunk on sleep", I think that applies to me right now. Although I'm not so drunk on it I'm gonna vomit, I'm not a sleep lightweight. Once I've finished filling you in I shall go for my shower, make some breakfast and then probably play some football manager. At this stage in the blog I ought to introduce and interesting topic, so here goes nothing...

How about a surprising video? BAM. A man that can only produce art in his sleep, like sleep walking but with a pencil and an aesthetically pleasing final product. It's not like the sleep walking in Step Brothers where they just wreck through the house like I wreck through a steak. I love steak. My third and final topic (no new paragraph because I'm just too sleepy for that) is my favourite meal. Seeing as I mentioned steak I may as well tell you what my favourite meal is, in case you want to capture me and then cook me a nice meal. That would send some mixed signals though. None the less my favourite meal consists of a nice big steak cooked medium rare in a delicious blue cheese sauce, to accompany the meaty extravaganza I usually like some well cooked chunky chips (a thick version of French fries, strips of deep-fried potato), some button mushrooms, some roast tomato and probably some peas. Obviously if you've captured me you may want to lace it with rohypnol but that's up to you, as long as you get the basics right. Anyway I'm off to carelessly stumble throughout my morning routine. I woke up 23 minutes ago now.
 

Manly - Paddy

To quote old spice guy, "I am a man" and as a man, I do manly things. Today I did two manly things. First of all I made a fire to burn my old college work and stuff I no longer need. This may not sound manly, having a small fire to burn old physics but let me put it to you another way. I, Paddy, tamed Fire, the deadliest of the four elements, and forced it do my bidding. See, now it sounds very manly and almost heroic if described like that.
My second manly feat of the day was the removal of a small tree from my garden by attacking with a large pair of secateurs. Again, not the manliest sounding of activities, but upon further inspection the brutish nature of the task is revealed. Some of these branches I lopped off were a good few inches in diameter and the secateurs were blunter than a someone who has no concept of subtlety. It was more a case of pummelling the tree into submission then neatly cutting it off. This shows me being manly! I am a gardening chore based GOD! Not a very good god, I'm not working miracles like Zeus or Vishnu or any other god from the various worldly pantheons of religions.
I must leave now, I have many more manly tasks to complete. I must first fight a bear, then open some jars of pickles for women and then as the day draws to a close I must make love to many other beautiful women. Adios!

8-2 - Alex

Six. Surely 8-2 is six. Well you are incorrect. Well you're not, mathematically 8-2 is six but I'm thinking of it in a separate context. I am talking about the soccer result of my life time. Today Manchester United walked over Arsenal and in doing so it became only the fourth ever premier league game where one side alone scored 8 goals. It was also the third time in the premier league era that Manchester United scored 8 goals in one game, making us somewhat masters of the eight goal score line. I watched this match with my co blogger Paddy and he was making all sorts of sexual noises when certain well struck goals went in. I remember being on holiday and finding out that United had tonked Roma 7-1 in the European cup and being is disbelief, I also remember winning the champions league in 2008 and being over come by all sorts of glorious feelings. Today both of them experiences were replicated. Sadly I fear that I may be dropping to second in my fantasy football league, but I guess all my good luck has to be balanced out somehow. I hope it isn't balanced out by death, that would really suck.

At the moment I am on the toilet and Patrick is in my bedroom playing on my Xbox, I trust him enough to let him be near my very personal belongings. I have some valuables in my room too, forget about my telly, xbox, games, CDs and iPod the one possession I'm on about is my 23 carat gold plated charizard card. I'm such a cool dude.

100m - Paddy

Currently, I am watching the mens 100m heats at the IAAF World Championships in Daegu. After 3 races, in which the top 3 progress, only 1 White guy has made it into the next round. Annoyingly, the White guy in question is Cristophe Lemaitre and despite being the only White man to run under 10 seconds, he is also French. I'm not dissing the French, but if I'm honest, it irks me that their White guy is infinitely better than GB's best White sprinter, Craig Pickering, and also beter than most of our black sprinters too. I imagine he's quick because his grandparents had to run away very quickly from invasions almost every other week. Oh, I went there and made a reference to the second world war! (Please, if you are French/German do not stop reading this blog because of me. I am truly sorry for any offence that caused.)
Moving onward swiftly to the second topic of this post. I an going to talk about my mum. Yesterday she bought a new phone. However, today when she went out she took her old phone. This is because she has no contacts on her new phone yet because she doesn't know how to transfer them across. Unfortunately she is of the generation who had the choice to either get facebook and blackberries and xbox 360s and be technologically up to date or to not do any of those things and get confused by all sorts of fairly commonplace technologies. This is only her second mobile phone in the same time as my sister, who is in her 20's, has had over 7.

Louis Walsh - Alex

I'm basically Louis Walsh. That statement is incorrect, I am not Irish, I am not gay, I am not 59 and I am most certainly not successful. However I just spent 10 minutes on youtube and I found two "mash ups" that I believe are "peng" and "reem". Having mentioned them to you I guess I should link you up, well here is the first one and here is the second one. At some point I will get my youtube converter working and I will get both of them on my iPod as soon as I physically can, I also want the Franz Ferdinand covers of Womanizer and What You're Waiting For. So there you are humble blog reader, whilst so far the text content of this blog is low you have already got plenty of time passing potential due to me pointing you in the direction of four particular songs. Turns out that on youtube there are actually a lot of very very good songs. I need to put clothes on, eat food and do a whole host of other househould jobs. Sorry to cut this so short, I feel like Patrick, but I hope that you enjoy the musical tings I sent your way.Till next time, stay fresh.

My suit- Paddy

Today, I bought a new pair of shiny, black, leather, smart, pointy shoes. I bought these shoes, to go with a suit I bought a couple of weeks ago, to go to a wedding. A SUIT! My second suit by the age of 17. That seems as excessively high number of shirts for a boy who has never had a formal occasion except for my year 11 prom a year ago. Coincidentally, that is why I bought my first suit. I'm not complaining about having bought more than one suit, I like suits. It's a bonding point for me and Alex is the discussion of a good looking suit. My new suit is a good looking suit, if I say so myself, it is dark grey as opposed to the more usual black. It does, however, have black lining along the length of its lapels, like some sort of border, like the sort of suit you could imagine Jamie Redknapp wearing whilst he analyses football at half-time.
That's enough about my new suit. I'm going to go get me a frozen juice based ice lolly.

Forehead - Alex

Well to begin I shall comment on something Patrick said in his last blog, quoting it would be far too much effort but it was something roughly along the lines of "Alex shares my views on art". Whilst largely I am disinterested in art I am still (surprisingly) a fan of walking around the National Gallery in London. I cannot name on favourite painting, heck I can't even name one favourite artist but I do like looking at some of the more quirky paintings. I should also say that I am a HUGE fan of the Natural History Museum, I honestly believe that it is one of the most interesting assortments of fossils, pictures, evidence and such that I've ever been to. Plus entry is free! That's just magical.

And now onto the less serious (or more serious, depending on how you look at it) topic to be discussed within this blog, my forehead. I feel a little bit sorry for my forehead, whenever I use any sort of product on my face because my hair covers it it always gets neglected. I guess that means no matter how exfoliated, moisturised and toned my cheeks, chin and nose are my forehead must have skin like that of a witch. Only not green, or all bumpy like a mountain range, or on the face of someone who can do magic. I'd love to be able to do magic, I'd make myself three inches taller and more physically imposing. Maybe next I'd look into solving world hunger or something, who knows. I'd magic myself tap dancing ability too! Tap dancing is cool, Adam Garcia makes it cool by being sexy and having a cameo in House. This blog is becoming random so I'm off to make an omelette and then devour it like an angry bear. RRRAAAWWWRR.

Ps. I don't think bears go "RRRAAAWWWRR". Also I wrote this at 09:39, just scheduled it to post at 12.34 so the numbers are all neat, because I'm a loser like that.

London 2- Paddy

Now, a couple of months ago, back in may, I wrote this blog. It recounted an adventure I had in London town, and today, I went on a sequel adventure.
If I'm honest, this one was less of an adventure. At my families insistence we spent a good deal too long in the National Gallery, one of the "greatest and most important galleries in the world" according to The Handy London Map & Guide. Call me uncouth or a philistine but I found the national gallery a tad boring. I know Alex shares my opinions of art and I am of the opinion that once I've seen one priceless work of art by a foreign artist, you've seen them all. In my opinion the best painting was one of an experiment to show a vacuum that featured a suffocating cockatoo. I'm not sure who it was by, but I do know it was parodied in this image from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series.
As well as visiting the art gallery, we went to look at the site of next years Olympic Games, which was vaguely average but my pleasure of viewing what is essentially a building site was somewhat marred by the rain and mist.
And so to conclude my second London adventure, it was less fun than the first, but is that not so often the way with sequels?

Green and wet - Alex

The title does not denote my sexual preference; instead it is how I plan to spend the rest of my day. Let me explain. I am going kayaking again, because I don't think I came close enough to falling in last time. I tell a lie, my hips were submerged and I was seemingly destined to fall in on more than one occasion. So if anything I came too close to falling in on a few occasions. Today though we are going with a few real life females that actually exist. That means I would not be fibbing if I told you that I was going to spend the rest of the day with some sweaty girls who are potentially going to get wet. Oh I'm a cheeky one with my slightly misleading wording and leaving you to make your own mischievous inferences.

At this very moment I am watching “Stuck on You”, I caught a little bit of it on television last night after MOTD2 and then decided that I really like the film so I would watch it on DVD whilst eating my breakfast after waking up today. That’s a really long sentence, 47 words to be precise. Right now Eva Mendes (I’m sure her character has a name) is wearing swim wear, it took me a long time to roll my tongue back up and pick my jaw off of the floor. WOWZA. AWOOGA. Other loud noises. She’s really sexy. I would do things to her that aren’t even legal in my jurisdiction, that’s not actually true, don’t report me to anyone. On that note I’m going to run away to somewhere that not even the popo (5.0, fuzz, rozzers) can find me. Bye bye baby boys and girls.

Stats- Paddy

Today, I am going to blog about blogging. This blog to be specific and many Alex'n'Paddy based stats.
This month (August) has been the second fastest month to reach 300 views, just behind the view holding record of March with 694 views. However, March was a highly anomalous month as those views were predominantly our own friends, just checking out what alex and I were doing. Since then, we only get viewed by a hardcore of viewers from several countries, predominantly the USA, UK, Germany and Singapore. The majority of our 2,386 views have been from users browsing with Internet Explorer and Firefox with 32% and 30% respectively. Over 68% of our views come from people using windows, but only 8% come from apple based macs. This is a really boring topic, and for that I apologise, but I could not think of anything else to write about, and I know that at least 3 people might find this mildy engaging to read about.
I apologise again, and I will leave you here. I'm sure alex tomorrow will blow your socks off with his blogging. If he disappoints now, I apologise for that too.

Mmm fizzy pop - Alex

Today I went to Costco in order to buy things in bulk for good prices, I came away with only two purchases. The most expensive of my purchases was £20 spent on three footballs, normally on one individual football you could quite merrily spend 10-12 pounds so as far as I see it three decent balls for less than 7 each is a nifty piece of business. I also bought 30 cans of carbonated soft drinks, a mixture of Dr. Pepper, orange fanta and sprite. How much would ten litres of soft drink set me back? 7 pound something. Bargain. At most that's about 26 pence per 330ml can. 26p!

Second topic of this blog? Well right now I'm being distracted from my history essay by Torchwood, I like the black character, he reminds me of a cheap Jay-Z. Jay-Z has some serious swag. Due to his recent album with Kanye I've got a lot more love for Jay. I have always had a little bit of Shawn Carter on my ipod but mainly little snippets of him when he features in other rap stars musical offerings. Obviously I had Hard knock life and 99 problems but beyond that it uncommon for me to listen to any other Jay-Z song. Now I definitely think I'll invest in some more of Jay-Z's work, and hopefully I'll love it.

Sitcoms; the americanisation of, and Hulk- Paddy

Today, I must write a long blog. Not because Alex pointed it out or because he always belittles the length of my blogs. No, I do this because I promised you I would and I've had enough of breaking promises to you, our faithful readers.
Today I am going to write about situation comedies or "sitcoms" as they can be known. I am a fan of several sitcoms, predominantly American imports, such as Friends, Scrubs, the Middle, Modern Family, the Big Bang Theory and more I'm not going to list so it doesn't look like I'm trying to fill space. There is, I'll admit an absence of british humour in thar list but sitcoms such as Fawlty Towers, Only Fools and Horses and, in more recent years, programs like Episodes don't have the long term and such universal appeal of their American counterparts. I am forced to assume that this is one of the effects of the gloabalisation and americanisation of western culture as a whole. Such is the nature of the world with a Subway or McDonalds or a KFC on every street corner. Not that I'm against this; I'm a fan of an occadional chicken and bacon sub or chicken selects or a boneless bucket. This has become less a blog about sitcoms and more a blog about western culture and the americanisation of it.
TOPIC CHANGE! An advert just came on for a "superhero season" on television and it featured a clothes shop catering for various heroes. One such item is Bruce Banner or Hulks trousers. This led me to ponder where he actually does get those purple trousers with the incredible elastic waistline. He must get them custom made, but then that would surely compromise his identity as an enormous green man with anger management issues.
This blog is plenty long enough now to satisfy you and to silence Alex's moans. I'll see you, but not really, in two days.

Disapointment - Alex

Well how fulfilling did you find Patrick’s blog yesterday? If you’re anything like me then you will have been slightly peeved as he left you short changed with just 135 words. At one point he even had the cheek to say “its my blog and I can do it whenever”. Firstly he demonstrated some bad grammar, it should be “it’s”, I hope he can analyse and improve. Secondly he insinuated that as the reader you came second, which is not the way you should be treated! I tend to do my blogs in the morning so that I can produce a piece of text that’s more substantial than anything Patrick writes, another thing that makes me better than Patrick is the fact that I don’t tell you I’m going to do a blog at 4am in the morning and then not do one. Not that I’m holding onto things here. But alas I shall move away from the negativity and onto another subject. In theory that requires another paragraph but at the moment my enter button is being uncooperative so I shall carry it on in this paragraph. As some of you may know today is A-level results day in England (I’m not too sure about Scotland, Wales or NI), however I appreciate that me and Pat have a MASSIVE fan base in the US so I will go into a tad more detail, A-levels are the qualifications that you get from studying at college (typically from the ages 16-18). Today me and Paddy got our AS levels results, they are the results from our first year at college. I got A, B, C, C and one stray D. Academic mediocrity I believe. Whilst I am not delighted by this I guess it’s not a disaster seeing as my January results made me feel like a dumbo (technical term). I also expect Patrick’s results to far eclipse my level of accomplishment, for he is like Einstein and I am like a character from Ed, Edd and Eddy. Wow I miss 90’s cartoons. On that note I shall finish this blog, a whole 2.68 times larger than Patrick’s last blog. I call that victory.

Wetness- Paddy

Left it late, but hey, its my blog and I can do it whenever I can. As long as it's on my day that is. But anyway, here I go...
Today it rained, hard. This would have been no issue but we went to play football. About 10 minutes in, we still assumed it was a shower and would rapidly pass. A further 20 minutes of rain later, we still believed it would pass and was lingering due to the lack of wind. An hour later, it was still raining and we were stood around in a group looking dejected and wet. Wetter than a water balloon in a outside pool in the rain. It was fairly uncomfortable to say the least.
This'll do for today, I promise I'll write thrice as much on Friday xxx.

A holiday present - Alex

Well I'm back from holiday and I'm sure you're psyched to know what present I got you, well, it's my safe return. What? What's wrong with that? Well I didn't want to get you and tacky jewellery or a penis shaped bottle opener. Ok next time I'll get you something better, happy?

Feel free to fill in the blanks in the one sided conversation up there, feel just as free to read it, frown and slur abuse at me. I was only kidding up there too, I did get you a nice present, me and Patrick started twitter for you. That's right, as influential Internet personalities it's only good and proper that we keep you filled in on our small daily shenanigans. If you want to follow me then you'll need to search in @JewfroChamp and if you want to follow Paddy then you need to follow this link. Its wit like that that keeps me as the best blogger on this site. If you actually want to follow Patrick then just go to @thepaddy. I also attempted to install to twitter feeds to our blog home page, that's why the format has changed slightly. They seem to be some what erratic as to if they work or not, but they should be <------ there and there ------>. If you are a blog reader and do begin following me and/or Paddy then just say so because I would love to follow you back, this is the only way I can follow people and not get told off by the law.

#gettingwiththetimes

Well that's you all nice and informed about me and Patrick becoming twits, now for the real content of this blog. You will have been alerted to the fact I was away by the gaping hole left in your bi-daily routine when you would have normally read my blog, re-read my blog and then emailed links of my blog to your friends. I was in Lanzarote, I was told by my Papa that it is known as the windy island, well it sure deserved that reputation during my visit, I was very farty. Using my mobile telephone I took some pretty snazzy panorama photographs that at some stage may find their way into a future blog. I also hid from the sun at any opportunity because of my vampiric tendency to frazzle when exposed to sunlight. My sun hiding antics involved cowering under a towel when around the pool or dashing into the shade at any opportunity when out and about. It's tough being pale. Patrick spends 5 minutes in the sun and he looks like a Latino, a beautiful golden brown. I spend 5 minutes in the sun and I go red wherever I forgot to put sun tan lotion. Although I can’t complain, he got the gift of sun kissed skin; I got the gift of written word. I call that a fair deal.

For the moment I’m off to interrogate Patrick’s new girlfriend, that’s right, Patrick is now a taken man. No more rock star sleeping around for him, he’ll have to lose his edge. No longer will he be able to spend his Saturday nights taking drugs with hookers and partying, instead he will be cuddled up on the sofa watching Total Wipeout. Now that isn’t a fair deal.

#blogdeluxe

Alex- Paddy

Alex is home! He's home I tell you! Not that I'm overly excited about it or anything. I'm just saying I get to chill with him later and he's well excited for it, honestly. Tonight, me and the Ginger one will be chilling out, watching football, playing FIFA, gently spooning. You know, standard teenage male stuff, except for the spooning, that's just me and Alex. I'm not sure where to take this blog now. I might just end it awfully now, but never fear, tomorrow my better half will be a-blogging again and you will all have your favourite Internet "personality" back. See you on tuesday xxx

Fantasy Football- Paddy

Today marks the start of the new season. Not a season like Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter. Not even a season such as you might put on a food such as pepper or basil or even cumin. I d, of course, refer to the new season of the English Premier League. Arguably the second best league in the world. "What on earth is the first?" I hear you cry. Well, it is the Big MC League, now in its third season, and that is the fantasy football league in which Alex, myself and many others of our peers compete in order to win pride. Such pride. We all take it very seriously, in particular, my larger friend who had won it the last two years. I imagine he tries so hard to compensate for his lack of real world prowess at anything. I was about to reveal to you some of the quirk, humorous team names in my league. Names that would have made even the most football hating man crack a smile. Unfortunately, the website is currently not responding so instead you'll just have to make some of your own up and pretend I had them written here. I feel that this has made my blog too disappointing to continue, so I shall vacate. I leave you with the knowledge however, that alex will be back at some point in the next couple of days and I'm sure you are all very excited.

Dogs- Paddy

Hello everybody on the Internet! How are you? I don't expect an answer, none of you ever comment on here, despite being able to. I find that mildy rude but not so rude that I care that much.
Anyway, today I am going to talk about dogs. I don't like dogs, and that has probably alienated half our readers. But before the 3 of you leave, I don't like cats either if that's any consolation. Anyway, I find there are two types of dog neither of which I like. Firstly, you get small tally dogs like this. I dislike these because they are all small and jumpy and when you sit down they climb on you. One time I had a dog climb onto my shoulder like some demented parrot. It was unpleasant. The second type of dog is large and has teeth and want to bite me, no matter how much of a "big softy" their owns claim they are. Dogs like this one. Ok, so that's insanity wolf, but it doesn't detract from my message: dogs are bad.
Right, I know at least 2 of you will be all indignant and crying out that their dog is neither of those! Their dog is perfect and just wants to be friends! Those people are wrong, sorry to tell you like this, but it's true.

Riots- Paddy

There are currently riots going on all over the UK, as I'm sure you are aware. If you are non-UKish, google them, all sorts of nefarious deeds have occured such as wanton thievery, arson and lots of fighting. I, as an almost prominent internet personality, have come up with 2 possible solutions to the problem which I shall now share.
First plan involves the formation of a crack team of elites to be air dropped into London. The exact details of the team I haven't considered to that great an extent. However, I would insist on the inclusion of Batman, Ironman, Samuel L Jackson, Wolverine, my dad (dads are awesome) and Captain Jack (Harkness not Sparrow). Obviously, these guys would obliterate all rioters and solve all the worldy issues including who the third stig actually is.
My second plan also involves air dropping items into London. However, this time the item in question is  not a team of badassery, rather several thousand Magnum Double Caramel Ice Creams. My reasoning is thusly: who can be angry enough to riot whilst they have a delicious ice cream to eat. Pacifies all does an ice cream, except fot lactose intolerant people.
Ooh! I could combine both plans and have the crack team of elite badassery dropped into London to disperse the ice creams around. Boom problem solved.
I am a god.

Hippopotami- Paddy

Today was the Charity Shield. For non-English, that is a game of football played between the winners of last seasons league, Manchester United, and last seasons FA Cup, Manchester City. Many pundits don't rate it as a worth while game, with this man referring to it as a "glorified friendly". However, I'm sure my currently abroad counterpart would diasgree with Mr Lawrenson as his beloved team vanquished their rivals 3-2 and I'm sure he'd be all warm and fuzzy inside if he were here. I imagine he's fairly warm in Lanzarote, but I'm uncertain as to how fuzzy his innards are. If they actually fuzzy, he may want to get checked at a hospital. It could be a sign of all manner of parasites living in him, from the common or garden tapeworm to the less well known rectal hippopotamus. My aunt had rectal hippopotami once, it was unpleasant. Actually, it wasn't that unpleasant because I made them up. rectal hippopotami aren't real. But if they were they'd probably look something like this:

And that wouldn't be mud it was covered in...

Famous faces - Alex

Yesterday, as I let you know, I went to watch a football match up in Manchester. Just before the match I saw someone who many of you will have heard of, Pele. In his time Pele was very good at football (soccer), probably one of the best there has ever been, and that makes it very special to see him. I also fell in love whilst I was in Manchester, I fell in love with the New York Cosmo's kit, it's a sexy sexy piece of cotton. On the way home from the North I saw the father of a very attractive man. That is another of my many man crushes by the way, it's less creepy to gawp over the physical appearance of men, instead of being a pervert I'm just comfortable. If you followed the latest link it was to a picture of Jamie Redknapp, and I saw Harry Redknapp. He was a lovely bloke, he let me have a picture with him and even waited whilst my phone fannied about to ensure that the picture had taken properly. So after actually touching one famous person and being near many other famous people as they played football I'm hoping some of their star dust has rubbed off on me and I become a superstar thanks to this little blog. That's not going to happen though, if I'm realistic.

Right now I'm going on holiday tomorrow morning so you will not hear from me for a little while, I'm sorry for that. Until next time, stay safe :)

Pub quiz- Paddy

Today I did a pub quiz. I felt like a real man, because that's what real men do. Grizzled men, with beards and pints. They do pub quizzes in teams with names full of puns and what not. Now I was one of these men. Unfortunately for my team of almost manly men, my sister and her cohorts had also entered a team inti the quiz. A fierce rivalry was opened up and tensions rose. At the half way point, it looked like my team had the edge, but alas, Vikki's team won out over all other teams with 29 points out of 32 compared to my teams 26. I'm not bitter about this defeat, but one round of 6 was based entirely on an event which no member of my team attended. We only got 3 out of 6 that round, and had we had a person who'd been there then we'd have won. But I'm not bitter. Not all all. Honestly, I'm not.




Well, maybe a little.

Sweat fest - Alex

I just got back from spending 45 minutes getting very very sweaty with 5 other boys and 1 girl. Now with this being the Internet I know what you're assuming we spent the time doing, and you're wrong, we played laser quest (laser run, laser tag). We decided to partake in this event normally reserved for children's birthday parties as we were stumped on how to spend the day and then out of the blue the 1 female suggested laser run. A stroke of genius! For £6.50 we got the whole "arena" to ourselves and 3 individual matches of 15 minutes each. My team, informally known as the win squad, won the first two games against the feeble red team. Although they did have one less player we still felt a great deal of pride in our accomplishment because victory is victory. For the last game we decided to mix the teams about and put the three best individuals against the rest of us, and it was apparent that they were the three best individuals, they caned us. We were literally schooled in the art of laser run, they appeared natural, tactical and comfortable in their demolition of me and my comrades.

Before running with lasers I spent the morning mooching about the house, my personal highlight coming almost straight away as I fell down the stairs and cut my jaw a little bit on the banister. Falling down the stairs is always funny, no matter how much pain I'm in I always hit the floor laughing. They say that laughter is a good medicine so because of that I always receive a healthy dose after a clumsy tumble down the stairs.

I should be able to write a blog on Saturday, but don't hate me if I don't get around to it, I'm up in Manchester tomorrow and Saturday and then I'm flying the Lanzarote on Sunday so I'll have a lot to do. Either way thank you for reading honey ;)

Faux Pas -Paddy

What a faux pas I committed this past day. I dressed myself in a pair of shorts, as you do, and topped it off with a dark blue and White striped t-shirt. I then dandily sauntered down stairs into my kitchen. Meanwhile my sister's partner was cooking in the kitchen dressed in a pair of shorts, as he does, and he topped it off with a dark blue and White striped t-shirt. It was, shall we say, an awkward moment. As we stood awkwardly opposite each other, Vikki walked in. She promptly pointed out our similarities thus heightening the level of awkwardness and spawning a whole menagerie of figurative awkward animals. (Menagerie is now one of my favourite words.)
Change of subject！I wrote that last exclamation by hand writing it on the screen, as opposed to that slow old fashioned typing. Actually, its not quicker to handwrite it at all, it took me a good 36 minutes to do that sentence, and by 36minutes I mean 5. I am prone to exaggerate on matters like that.
This'll do me for today, I'll see you (metaphorically) in a coupla days.

Inventor - Alex

Much like the most recent winner of The Apprentice I am an inventor, what have I invented? Well yesterday I made a sandwich. I know that's not special in itself, women do it most days, but this was a very special sandwich. You see instead of normal bread I used banana bread and instead of traditional sandwich fillers such as meat or meat I used battenberg cake. Let me tell you, boy was it good. Imagine the joy you would get from seeing Aston from JLS trip up and land in a pile of dung (for our readers across the pond Aston from JLS is a member of a boy band, I'm sure you understand why that's slightly annoying), now intensify that joy ten fold and you are at the euphoric levels the banana bread and battenburg combo can take you to.

Topic numero dos. I am currently addicted to classical music, I listen to it in bed, I listen to it in the car and I listen to it around the house. I hardly have a broad knowledge of the subject but I find it really relaxing to listen to, it's cultured stress free entertainment. Classic FM is my station of choice, but only because I'm unaware of any other major classical radio stations. Big love for classical music.

Right there is my blog for the day done, I'm gonna go and check how much banana bread we have left and then play Football Manager, obviously.

Lying T-shirt - Paddy

The T-shirt I am wearing currently declares me to be awesome. It looks a bit like this T-shirt. There was supposed to be a link in that sentence to a picture of the aforementioned shirt but I couldn't find one. That ties in neatly with my next statement; The T-shirt is a lie. According to the blog stats, and the lack of link, I am the opposite of awesome. Yesterday Alex did his blog and within 2hours it had recorded 7 page views. That's fairly awesome but makes me seem even worse when I reveal that my last post has only received, hang on whilst I look it up... It hasn't had a single page view. Not one. That is not good. I couldn't be a less popular blogger if I was posting pictures of me beating up puppies and I was intact Hitler as well. It's not good for my ego, and I need my ego. I know me and Alex agreed on day one that he'd be the popular, funnier blogger and I'd be the sexy one who romances all our fans, but the deal isn't really working out for me so far. It's all very well for Alex with the most page views by far, but I am yet to be contacted by a fan asking me to impregnate her or at least engage in some passionate hand holding.
I'm going to go search the Internet now. I search for a truthful T-shirt, one that won't mislead and betray my true life.