This could be the end - Alex

Yesterday Patrick said that this may well be my last ever blog, the thing is, I'd be fine with that. Not for the reason he gave, I'd be much less fine about killing myself. I just wouldn't be very distraught if, for some reason or another, I was forced/asked/gently nudged to give up blogging. In the least melodramatic way possible, blogging bores me and I get very little out of it now-a-days. Initially the blog showed potential, then alexnpaddy demonstrated some genuine growth and the development of a stable readership, but alas, now, in the style made popular by HMS Titanic, we are sinking without a trace. Setting 15 minutes aside every other day feels like a strain, and even when I do sit down to write a post I get far too easily distracted. I will keep on blogging though, as it's too much effort to stop. But don't be too surprised if, come the start of thick exam season, I take a hiatus or even an indefinite break. Having said that, no one would care.

EVEN MORE BIG GAMES- Paddy

Today was uneventful for me. So today, I shall blog about tomorrow. This sounds like it should be hard, but I'm not just generally blogging about tomorrow, I have a specific event I am looking forward to.
The event in question is the football match that is likely to decide the destination of the 2011/12 Premiership football title. To make this game doubly interesting, it is a local derby between none other than Manchester United and their cross city rival Manchester City. It is a very big game in the football world. Probably comparable to the other big games I have blogged about previously. (I would link to them but I'm too lazy, so if you're interested look them up yourself.) Obviously this game tomorrow has more riding on it for my Manchester United loving comrade. Alex will most definitely be watching this game and if it goes badly, it is just as probable that he will never blog again. Because he will be dead. Because he will have killed himself. I'm not sure how, but it was very sad.
SO, if you ever want to hear from Alex again, support united tomorrow. If you are not so fussed about Alex, you may as well support city to spice things up.

Alun - Alex

When you read the word "Alun", I want you to do it in the voice exhibited at the start of this youtube video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaPepCVepCg

Alan. Alan. Alan. Al. Al. Alan. Go on, say it out loud and try not to smile. Anyway, Alun. Tonight me and Patrick (as well as our tall friend and our complain a lot friend) are going to see the northern comic Alun Cochrane. Two which you will have one of three replies.

A. Alun who?!
B. Ah Alun Cochrane! That should be a right laugh.
C. What is this ridiculous excuse for a blog?

I can answer A with the next two links, I hope they go some way towards alleviating you from your current state of perplexion and bafflement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovssyTL8xag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSPqWefaSjY

I can answer B with, yes I sure hope it will be.

And to answer C, it is just that, a ridiculous excuse.

I am sure that Patrick will tell you that it was hilarious tomorrow, and I will also show you why it will be amazing....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boy-b0kH-6M&feature=related

Uniform- Paddy

Hello everybody! I'm back after Alex's slight slip up yesterday/Wednesday. Fortunately, we have seamlessly moved on from that and there will be little more disappointment from Alex.
Or will there be? I do in fact have another brief tale to recount of Alex letting his bro (me) down. Today at college was school day. This meant we all had to wear our old school uniforms for charity. As I, rather rebelliously, had set my old tie on fire when I left senior school, I had no tie to wear. Alex, having spare ties, had offered to bring me one in so that I could complete my ensemble. However, Alex may have forgotten that spare tie, and by may have I mean he did forget that spare tie. This left me somewhat tie-less, and made my shirt and trousers combo look half-hearted and not like school uniform at all. Fortunately, Alex's timetable allowed him to redeem himself to a certain extent. He only had one lesson so lent me his tie when he left. Once my ensemble was complete I looked far better in my uniform than I ever had before.
This is me when I actually had to wear uniform:


And this is how I looked today:


Pretty swag huh?

Apology - Alex

I owe you an apology. Yesterday I forgot to write a blog, and it wasn't until I woke up this morning that I realised. I'd love to reel off a perfect excuse as to why I didn't blog, but the fact of the matter is that I just didn't remember to. So I am sorry for giving you a day without any Alex to cheer you up, I'll understand if you have trouble trusting me again, because I know what I did was out of order. It was unfair, you didn't deserve it, and I should have thought about that before I selfishly went about my day without remembering the most important people I have, my three readers (one of whom is Patrick). I got ready for college especially quickly for you this morning, just so I could post a blog before too long, in a desperate attempt to claw back some of the respect you lost for me after my immature actions. Now I need to go and brush my teeth, do a number two and then, if I have any spare time, I plan to have a search for the purple handkerchief I wore in my blazer pocket for prom, I think it would go just delightfully with the new suit I got the day before yesterday. Once again, I really am sorry.

Chelsea/Barcelona- Paddy

I just watched a very thrilling game of football (soccer). It was the second leg of the UEFA Champions League Semi-Final 1 between Chelsea FC and Barcelona FC. After the first leg, Chelsea were winning 1-0 and then had to go to Barcelona for the second. It finished 2-2 and thus Chelsea went through. However, that does not tell the whole story. After roughly 40 minutes, Barcelona were 2-0 up and cruising, John Terry had been sent off for kneeing Alexis in the back and all hope looked lost for the "Blues" as their fans call them. BUT THEN, on the stroke of half-time, Barcelona had their goalkeeper chipped sumptuously by Ramires, who is Brazilian and therefore very good at the football. This made it 2-2 on aggregate and had Chelsea winning via the away goals rule. In the second half, Barcelona got a penalty. Messi took the penalty and missed it because he is an awful footballer and should not be allowed on a football pitch. Then, Messi hit the post again! And Barcelona had a goal ruled out for breach of the offside rule. This made it all very tense. Then in the 90th minute Chelsea's £50million man, Fernando Torres, scored a goal. He is worth every penny. EVERY PENNY!

Fan - Alex

Fan - fan has two definitions...

fan/fan/

Noun:

An apparatus with rotating blades that creates a current of air for cooling or ventilation. A person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular sport, art or entertainment form, or famous person.

I have one of each of those definitions. My fan according to definition one is in my bedroom and keeps me cool when I sleep. It also acts as "white noise" so that I get a peaceful rest. My fan according to definition is my Mum. She is my only fan and, if my imagination is anything to go by, accounts for half of the views the blog receives. She asks me for an autograph every morning and sometimes she even picks my gum out of the bin and sells it on ebay. She even loves me so much that she cooks me a hot meal basically every night, does my washing, cleans the house and uses her advanced levels of organisation and planning to help me schedule the most economical timings to spend with my plethora of sexy ladies. The last bit is what I appreciate most.

Uni- Paddy

University is a thing I am hoping to go to in September, and today I took 3 more small steps towards that goal. The steps I took were, in order:
1) Choose my firm choice of university. I have chosen Leicester, as I am sure you were all very excited to know after my many open day based blogs. I have chosen not to put an insurance choice. Why? Because I am wild like that, always living on the edge, and Leicester has my lowest entry requiremnets so backing it up with a harder university to get into would have been silly.
2) Applied for a Student Loan. It was quite a lot of loan I had to apply for. £9000 a year sort of deal. All that needs now is for my papa and my mama to fill in some more details about how much they earn and what-not, to see if I can get mo' money.
3) Applied for accommodation at Leicester. I have chose a variety of variously located Standard Single Bedrooms. I originally considered Premium Single Bedrooms, but it was like £300ish more per year and all you get extra in your room is a sink. A sink isn't worth £300 which could other wise be spent on sex, drugs and rock and roll, or more realistically; snacks, books and Xbox games.

Poetry - Alex

As an 18 year old boy I was first put off of poetry when me and my peers were force fed what was judged as "proper poetry" in order for us to complete our GCSEs. As far as I could work out, the get into the anthology a poem just had to be really old or to be from a different country. The thing it, poetry can be rubbish. Poetry frequently is rubbish. Because reading poetry from an English anthology in a cramped classroom isn't how poetry is supposed to be done. Obviously poetry is supposed to be performed, and when you're stuck analysing a poem that you don't even want to analyse, well then you don't get the most out of it. The answer to this, as far as I see it, would be to alter the GCSE English literature course so that the student is able to choose what poetry they study for their work. I personally like witty and rhyming poems that are able to be happy, funny and yet still insightful. My favourite "poet" is probably Scroobius Pip, whilst considered as a rapper by many, his spoken word style does, for me anyway, allow him under the umbrella of poetry.

I saw a dead fish on the pavement
And thought, what did you expect?
There's no water round here stupid
Should have stayed where it was wet

It doesn't rhyme, but it does make me giggle, and the way he says it at the start of the song introdiction is amazing. I love him. Plus, he tweeted at me yesterday. YAY.

This blog is full of Lies- Paddy

This still counts as my day, because I haven't gone to sleep yet. I did mean to blog sooner but I was delayed in doing so somewhat by an unfortunate incident which I do not wish to go into the details of. All I will tell you about it is that it may or may not have involved me fighting a T-Rex in the middle of Time Square in New York whilst I was dressed as a nun.
I am afraid that due to the late night (read: early morning) nature of this blog, I am going to have to keep it short and sweet, much like I never was. I used to be short, but the sweetness is something that has always eluded me. I am told that I have an almost cinnamon-y, quite citrus like flavor to myself. Again, that fact may be fabricated.
In the morning I have to get up early again, this time at 7am, so I can go to Sussex University in Brighton, to see if I want to go there. Also, once I have done that I have to fly to Sweden to collect my Nobel prize for fighting that T-Rex...

Goodbye all too soon - Alex

I bought a suit. I received a suit. I tried on a suit. I packed up a suit. I returned a suit.

I can't imagine that this is a fate which has befitted many of you, but despite this it is still one which made me very sad. I bought a suit to wear to a leavers ball and then afterwards, and more importantly, my fathers wedding. Second wedding. I wasn't even invited to the first, but I can only assume that I wasn't invited because I didn't exist at the time. The suit I received was a fairly suave black number. Slim fit black trousers, a slim fit black blazer, a grey shirt and a black and purple stripy tie. I didn't plan to wear the shirt and tie for the actual events, but it was a package deal and I had to choose something. Anyway, back to serious suit talk. I have a slim fit white shirt that fits me nicely, and then the tie can be sorted out in the future. But if I was a betting man I would say that I will end up with a blue tie.

Now I can only take this last opportunity to apologise that this blog has had no humour in it at all. It doesn't even have much in the way of content. I am awful.

Pottermore- Paddy

Yesterday, I signed up for Pottermore. Yes, you can now all judge me silently across the vast expanses of the internet. However, I do not care and now I'm going to spend my whole blog telling you about my magical other life.
I have been placed in Slytherin House, the most awesome of houses. It is cool, no matter what you Harry Potter fan boys think, and by far the snazziest house with its green and silver colour scheme. I was also given a wand, because I am a wizard now. It is black walnut, with a phoenix feather core, 11 3/4 inches long and hard. Similar to another piece of wood I own, my 12 inch ruler that I use for drawing lines. On Pottermore I also have a pet owl, because wizards have pet owls. Mine is a Barn Owl, and despite the fact that there is no actual way to name your owl, I have decided to call mine Clive. Why Clive? Clive is a name with swagger. I once had 17 (virtual) horses named Clive on Red Dead Redemption.
Right, I am going to have to leave this blog now, I have a Herbicide Potion brewing and need to tend to it, lest it spoil.

Bits and bobs - Alex

Prepare for a blog of loose ends and random sections. The first section will be a direct response to/expansion upon Patrick's blog yesterday. He spoke about the popular game "words with friends", a game which I used to have on my phone. I did delete it, but not until I had completed a tasty number of matches. And my highlights? I played the word "penises" for 26 points, which I have picture evidence of if you genuinely care. I also played the word "vortices" for 125 points, a gargantuan total which I also have picture evidence of if you care. In vaguely related word news I taught my university educated, senior business woman mother a word earlier. The word was "hubris", a word mentioned on the news, and a word I had heard used in a discussion/debate about a certain mister Hitler. And just so there is no loose end to this point, hubris means excessive pride or self-confidence. Finally in iPhone app news, today me and my mummy both downloaded the "find my iPhone" app, so now we can stalk one another to our hearts content. Creepy ting.

Wordsmith- Paddy

Recently on the ole' facebooks, i have joined in the "Words with Friends" hype. I am currently involved in 4 games, against my sister, Daniel Cook and another un-named friend. I am currently only winning one game, and that is the one against my sibling. Daniel is, rather upsettingly, an unbelievable words with friends-er. He is currently leading me in two separate games, by the rather impressive scores of 424-352 and 330-235. He also beat me yesterday by the score of 330-210. I am somewhat disappointed, but my defeats are lessened by the incredible nature of the words Dan uses to win. Here are my top 5 words played by Dan thus far, with definitions:
5. Frigate- A sailing warship of a size and armament just below that of a ship of the line.
4. Beanies- A small, close-fitting hat worn on the back of the head.
3. Jambe- One of a pair of vertical posts or pieces that together form the sides of a door, window frame, or fireplace, for example.
2. Inhumane- Without compassion for misery or suffering; cruel.
1. Gumshoed- An investigator, especially a detective.


Also not one of those words got less that 40 points. Unbelievable Words With Friends-ing.

Mild success - Alex

I don't deem myself a person who luck has shined down upon. For instance I have ginger curly hair and my body looks like it has been assembled out of K'nex, none the less this weekend lady luck has decided to have me have a weekend off from the chronic mild bad luck which has shadowed me for years. You see, this weekend from spending a total of £15 on betting and gambling I made about £13.80. Using the laws of averages, probability and so on from betting on horses and playing poker losing only £1.20 must be deemed an above average outcome.

but at the start of this new paragraph there seem to be two negatives that spring to my mind. The first being that I don't think I know how to use paragraphs properly. And the second is that I have to return to college tomorrow after a rather refreshing two weeks off. So onwards and upwards I assume, but first, to bed.

A good day's sport- Paddy

Today was the Grand National. It is a big deal in the UK. I had £4 on Seabass and Tharaawat (?) and £2 on Junior. Alex had various amounts of money on Cappa Bleu, Ballabriggs and Killyglen. As it finished, the race was won by some randomer called Neptune Collonges, which was highly underwhelming for me. What was less underwhelming, however, was the fact that Seabass came third, which meant my each way bet will return me roughly £16 as I managed to sneak my bet in on odds of 16-1 before his odds were slashed. Alex is also reasonably happy as  Cappa Bleu came back strongly to finish in 4th, and, as he too bet each way, will return him some monies. It's more or less win-win, if you can count third and fourth as winning.
Also in sport today, Charlton Athletic, who are the football team I support, don't judge me, clinched promotion from League One to the Championship. This means I am very happy. Next month I am going to Charlton's last home match of the season and hopefully I will see them be crowned Champions of the division. That would be quite nice as I was not old enough to see their last promotion and have only witnessed relegation.

Running dry - Alex

I'm talking about blog content in my title, my ideas are running thin. Thinner than the moustache on a 1920s movie star. I'm about as well motivated as the lover of Susan Boyle. I have as much humour left as the makers of the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon. I guess all I have to tell you is about what I have done today, seeing as I have nothing else interesting to say, whatsoever. I woke up at 6:45 AM, and by 7:00 I was in the living room after a shower, with breakfast, watching the Ricky Gervais sitcom Derek. After Derek I passed time until 8:15, and at that point in time I kicked into action dramatically. I planned and wrote an essay, the same 70 minute essay which Patrick spent a lot of his blog yesterday complaining about. Not a word of complaint from me though, not yet. I then watched Celebrity Juice, hung out with my big bottomed female friend for a little while and then came home to do anything that I can find to avoid doing a maths paper.

Ps. My top 5 for the Grand National tomorrow go like this..... Cappa Bleu, Killyglen, Ballabrigs, West End Rocker and then coming in at fifth is Chicago Grey. And I will be putting my money where my mouth is, nipping to the bookies with Patrick tomorrow.

History Practice- paddy

I am currently taking a short break in between bouts of revision that I am sure are slowly killing me. I just finished doing one question off of a practice history paper. Only one question, doesn't sound so bad does it? False. To do that one question by hand took me 70 minutes. 70 MINUTES FOR ONE QUESTION! That is longer than the length of several of my other exams in their entirety. That's the length of time it takes light to travel the distance between the Sun and Jupiter apparently. In its entirety, my history exam is 2hours long. Yes, that one question is over half of my exam. So it is quite important that I get my practice in on them. That will probably explain why, at my tutor's request, I have to first hand write it under exam conditions (which I have already done) and the re-type out a new and improved version using my notes and everything (which I am going to do once I have finished blogging for you) and THEN I have to fill in a sheet analyzing and reviewing my answer (which I shall do once I've typed it). This means that in its entirety I will have spent roughly 2 hours and 30 minutes on one question. Not so fun.

Leave it, yyyeeeeaaaahhh - Alex

My favourite video of 2012 has been decided - and the winner is... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-VWsfIBmOY&feature=youtu.be

A rapper talking about something which happened to him, two twos naaahhh. If you don't watch the video, leave it yeah, you are not dench. I will now now quote my favourite bits of the video, because it gives me an easy blog AND gives me an excuse to watch the video again.

"What yooo sayin doe, leave it"
"Where me phone, where me keys, where me phone"
"Pay now ooooooorrrrrr car get crushed"
"Bizzle stop being black and pay the tax now innit"
"Mans gonna do it old school and go post office"
"Muffin ting, tropicana"
"Put in the card number boom boom boom boom boom"
"Deeez times I'm getting very irate, innit"
"Dis Ben Mitchell lookin, flippin Mckenzie hat tramp brother"
"Manz cum on duh phone trying to be smart"
"Get me COUPLE VOUCHERS, get me"
"Hopefully won't leak, init, mans got the dench sausage"

I question why I accept someone who talks like this, but I love Bizzle, literally love, when I watched it I did a wee because I was laughing so much. Leave it, dench.

Twitter- Paddy

As I'm sure you are aware, both Alex and I are on Twitter (you should give us both a follow). Currently trending on Twitter is a list of stupid things. They are:

• #TeNecesitoPorque

• #dedicateddiva

• #sarkisozlerinidedelerledegistir

• Happy National Siblings Day

• In Eboue We Trust

• Two Million For Victoria Justice

• Cher Lloyd Is Stunning

• We Miss Michael Jackson

• Brynäs

• Who Framed Roger Rabbit
• 
  
• I don't often join in with the trending topics on twitter, but I have on occassion joined in, if a 
• particularly witty or intelligent hash-tag has come up. However, I mention that last set up
• there, because they are such a poor selection of themes. It upset me a little bit that that is
• all that humanity could come up with to discuss at that moment.
• 
  
•  Also I just legitimately used the same word 4 times in one sentence. I win at sentences.

Classic - Alex

Today is the 9th of April, known to those within the Pointon family as my sister's birthday. I got her a present, I got her a lovely dress from Hollister (I am probably the best brother going). But the best thing about it being Emma's birthday is that she cleared off out of the house for a day. She went shopping up in London (she's a teenage girl, I guess it's her dream day out or something), so I took advantage of the peace and quiet she left behind. Without her in the house there was no one listening to the top 40 chart slightly too loudly in the room one along from my bedroom. Without her there was no one gossipping on their phone at a volume that seems wholly unnecessary for a phone conversation. This gave me an opportunity to listen to my own music, and the music I settled on was a selection of classics. Well, it was classical music. Classic FM have been counting down their "Hall of fame", which has meant that since 10:00 this morning I have continuosly listened to nothing but the best classical music on offer. They are in the top 10 now, which means that very soon we will know what the public think is THE best classical song. My favourite classical song (or at least the one that stands out when I force myself to think about it right now) is La Campanella by Linszt, which I find to be an upbeat song, perfect for a drive in the sun.

Birthdays- Paddy

Hello Internet people. I have just finished work, and by just I mean I finished work 52 minutes ago (as of writing this sentence). You may think that this means I am free to do as I wish for the remainder of this glorious Easter Sunday. However, you'd be wrong. I have work again later tonight from 7pm until 10pm! Work TWICE in one day, unbelievable I know. Obviously I'm sure you've made the connection that my doubling up of shifts is a way to compromise for missing my last 3 shifts due to being first of all in Devon, and then yesterday celebrating Vikki, my elder sibling's birthday. She was 21. I had to wear a shirt. Once we had finished celebrating my sister birthday I had to go to a different place to celebrate a friend's 18th birthday. As I was still in my shirt and smart trouser's I was roughly 10000 times more smartly dressed than the smart/casual attire of my friends. Walking home I also kicked an ice cream that someone had dropped, and got it all over my shoes. This begs the question of who is eating an ice cream on a rather dreary day in early April? Even more specifically, who is eating one late enough in the day that it hadn't melted by my walk home at 12.30am? Baffling. And that is the note I shall leave you on.

Dictator - Alex

Me and Patrick are uncool, well uncool. To demonstrate this, here is a conversation we had last night. I blipped out the naughties I said, I don't want you hating me.

Think twice before you come back to this blog, you might just turn into a nerd yourseld.

The prodigal son returns*- Paddy

Guess who's back, back again? If you said anyone other than me (as in me, not you), you are an idiot. I may have let you get away with saying Shady (as in Eminem**, not me) though.
Yes, I have indeed returned from my travels in Devon, where you be surprised to know I was attending the Christianity-based even of Spring Harvest 2012. However, I am not actually a Christian, otherwise you'd think I'd probably have mentioned it before. No, I only went for 2 reasons: 1) A lot of my non-college based friends attended so it's just a good laugh, and 2) Football tournament. My team managed to reach the quarter-finals of the tournament but were unfortunately vanquished 1-0 by our opposition after a period of extra time was played. I was sad, but then was made a cup of tea and so that cheered me up. Here is a picture of me pretending to be a christian to fit in by hiding under a bible.
Its quite a cunning disguise, so I was surprised that I was noticed by anyone.
Other than Springy, as it is colloquially known, I have actually done some revision! Like actually sat down in one place and re-read my notes and properly revised. I copied out the definitions for roughly 80-90 AS economics based phrases, so now I am basically guaranteed an A. I assume that's how this revising malarkey works.
Also I played a good 3 games of FIFA with Alex earlier, which initially made him happy, but then he lost them all, which made him sad.


*Christianity reference in title shows Springy may have got to me...
**Because I mentioned a rapper this is now the coolest post I have ever done

I miss Pat - Alex

There, I said it. I miss him. It is now a whole week since I last said a word to our slightly built blog star. I've had no contact with him whatsoever, no FIFA all night, no spooning, no laughing at people who care about stuff and worst of all, no drinking at social events with him and hence no Patrick throwing up. It's funny when he throws up! He is now home, and since starting this post I have attempted to begin a chat with him on Facebook! I hope he talks back, otherwise I might have to remove him from the gene pool.

He went offline.

He's back on! He called me his "Jewfro-ed brethren". Wow. I've missed him. I think I'm welling up with tears. Either welling up with tears or getting bored of writing this. Probably the latter. I hate myself. You hate myself, I can't blame you. I am a word much stronger than I would say in front of my Nan. And a huge one at that!

I am poorly - Alex

That is what I look like right now, I'm really cold and my nose is all snotty. I went shopping today, but I didn't want to buy anything and as a result of that, I didn't. Now I'm just writing a blog as quickly as I can before I hop into bed, turn the lights off, smother myself in vapour rub and turn classic fm on. That sounds quite erotic actually, it wasn't supposed to be. I'm sorry to cut this so short but my head hurts, I've not done one good blog since Pat went away. I will probably frighten away all of our readers and he'll come back to the ruins of a once average blog. Whoops.

Rushed - Alex

Ahhhhh, circumstances which have applied to this blog in the not so distant past raise their grubby little faces again. Here I am with the day in which I can blog all but over, and I have to hammer out a quick blog before the clock strikes midnight. But in order to assist me in the writing of this blog I have a co-blogger, Mr. Alcohol is here to help me entertain you! I can assure you that a Sunday night is not when I typically get boozed up, it just so happens that it is my friends 18th birthday today, and what sort of 18th birthday is it if you don't drink alcohol and buy sweet and sour chicken balls from a chinese take away just before they close? Not a very good one, that's the answer you were looking for. Right with 20 minutes of the day left I guess I better get on with pooing/teeth brushing/getting changed and all other sorts of pre-bedtime rituals.