To quote old spice guy, "I am a man" and as a man, I do manly things. Today I did two manly things. First of all I made a fire to burn my old college work and stuff I no longer need. This may not sound manly, having a small fire to burn old physics but let me put it to you another way. I, Paddy, tamed Fire, the deadliest of the four elements, and forced it do my bidding. See, now it sounds very manly and almost heroic if described like that.
My second manly feat of the day was the removal of a small tree from my garden by attacking with a large pair of secateurs. Again, not the manliest sounding of activities, but upon further inspection the brutish nature of the task is revealed. Some of these branches I lopped off were a good few inches in diameter and the secateurs were blunter than a someone who has no concept of subtlety. It was more a case of pummelling the tree into submission then neatly cutting it off. This shows me being manly! I am a gardening chore based GOD! Not a very good god, I'm not working miracles like Zeus or Vishnu or any other god from the various worldly pantheons of religions.
I must leave now, I have many more manly tasks to complete. I must first fight a bear, then open some jars of pickles for women and then as the day draws to a close I must make love to many other beautiful women. Adios!
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