Hippopotami- Paddy

Today was the Charity Shield. For non-English, that is a game of football played between the winners of last seasons league, Manchester United, and last seasons FA Cup, Manchester City. Many pundits don't rate it as a worth while game, with this man referring to it as a "glorified friendly". However, I'm sure my currently abroad counterpart would diasgree with Mr Lawrenson as his beloved team vanquished their rivals 3-2 and I'm sure he'd be all warm and fuzzy inside if he were here. I imagine he's fairly warm in Lanzarote, but I'm uncertain as to how fuzzy his innards are. If they actually fuzzy, he may want to get checked at a hospital. It could be a sign of all manner of parasites living in him, from the common or garden tapeworm to the less well known rectal hippopotamus. My aunt had rectal hippopotami once, it was unpleasant. Actually, it wasn't that unpleasant because I made them up. rectal hippopotami aren't real. But if they were they'd probably look something like this:

And that wouldn't be mud it was covered in...