This time yesterday me and Patrick were what you could call "clubbing virgins". Never had we, for good reason (mainly not being old enough), been in a club during our 18 years of being. Well now "clubbing virgins" Alex and Paddy are not. We got invited out, we went out and I like to think we made the most of it. However, there are many things which still confuse me about clubbing...
I don't understand why clubs open so late. It is truly preposterous that you would want to begin your evening of debauchery at gone eleven o'clock. Because we are such big drinkers we went to spoons* before going into the club. Although we did not go into Whetherspoons until about twenty past ten, a time when normally I would be cosy in bed listening to classic fm. Personally I think it would make much more sense to go out at eight, that way you could be home by eleven and hence you could fall asleep at a reasonable time. By the time I got in it was between two and three am, when I felt the adverse affects of another problem...
Jagerbombs. Sure, I like them. £1 for a feeling of manliness and obviously a measure of elk blood** is a good deal. Having said that, bloomin' heck that amount of energy drink isn't good for getting to sleep. I had maybe 5 and when we got in neither I, nor Patrick could get to sleep. For that reason we ended up playing two games of FIFA and I did very badly in both. So once again a fault of "clubbing" is that fact that it viciously assaults the idea of having anything even similar to a full nights sleep. And i know what you're saying, "just don't have jagerbombs, surely?", well no. That is not an option I'm afraid.
There are lots of people in clubs, lots of people who are inevitably consuming lots of alcohol. That means that it gets crowded, hot and surprisingly not actually too sweaty. The main problem with this is that you end up rubbing against people you don't know, which is peculiar.
The music is awful, and music is a term used loosely. I don't even feel the need to expand on this point. So I won't.
We were lucky enough to go to the club on "£1" night, where shots or a bottle of beer were just one British pound each. Even with this very good price per drink it is still a fairly expensive night when lifts are taken into account. That is the main reason that I wouldn't go clubbing very often, not only would a develop a little bit of a drink problem (or a big bit of a drink problem) but I would also develop a huge bit of a wallet problem.
Despite all of these issues with clubbing, and by no means have I said all of them, I am surprised by how not-unejoyable it was. I went there expecting to dread every second of it and I didn't. I can even say that I enjoyed myself, but I think that had I gone clubbing with a worse group of people I would have enjoyed it less. To summarise, clubs are bad places full of bad people, but throw in some good friends and a safe amount of affordable alcohol and it isn't the dreadful experience I expected.
Ps. Drink responsibly.
*A British chain of pubs, they are cheap and hence fairly popular.
** An urban myth is that jagermeister contains the blood of a deer of some sort. It doesn't.
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