Willy and bum - Alex

Maturity is, or so people say, something that comes with age. This is a point of view that I disagree with, for instance I giggle at the number 69 and find farting funny sometimes. At the age of 14 I thought I was a full grown man, and therefore I wouldn't even raise the corner of my mouth to form the slightest smile if someone said lubricate or erect. Now with the advantage of hindsight I realise that every second of life is precious, and that a second not spent smiling and giggling is a second wasted. I may be immature, but I can come up with deep philosophical statements like that. And you know how it goes, immature people who can still say some stuff that other people might put in quote marks and then put their name and a date next to are really cool. So using that well established rule of society that I didn't just make up on the spot I must as a result be really cool. Also tonight I hope to be the swashbuckling spearhead of a lethal 5-a-side attack force, again. And in doing that I aim to become my teams top scorer for the season, whilst this is a far fetched achievement it would only require me scoring one more goal than I did last week, so four. Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be a poetic description of my artistry by Patrick tomorrow, also, be prepared to hear about me doing really pooey. That's probably more likely. Given that they say lightning doesn't strike twice. Start with a saying and end with one, full circle.