Alan Sugar here I come - Alex

My first topic for the day is my potential impending audition for the next series of 'Junior apprentice' on the BBC. First I would like to prove that they want me...

Hello potential Junior Apprentice! (Alex Pointon), This email is to confirm that we received your application and that we would like to invite you to take part in our selection process on Wednesday 13th April 2011. Your interview time is 16:15. Place: Studio 1, Talkback Thames, 1 Stephen Street, London, W1T 1AL

And now I would like to commence with my occasionally cringe worthy wittering. I am not surprised to have been asked to attend an interview, not only do I boast experience within a highly successful business environment (I did Young Enterprise in year 10 and my team didn't suck) but I also look like a freak, which as everyone knows makes bearable television. Also I think I managed to fool Alan into believing that I'm a good person by mentioning my trip to climb Kilimanjaro and help the Africans after college, sucker. Much to your disappointment I may not show up at the audition, you see that I vaguely remember reading that the second auditions are the following week should you be impressive enough to warrant that honourable call back. Here's where to poo poo comes in, the following week I am sampling the finest tourist destinations that New York has to offer, if it arose I wouldn't quit reppin' the big apple in order to fly to Birmingham (of all places, Birmingham!) to have a working lunch with Karen Brady. I just wouldn't.

Second topic in line for a monotonous description by yours truly, a potential hair style. On Saturday night in true Cinderella style I am attending a ball. The theme for this event is 1920s glamour, so because I'm a quirky so and so I am planning to style my hair in some sort of comb over fashion. This isn't something people with a natural hair style like me can really do very well, so wish me luck. But when they work everyone knows comb overs can look hot. Just look at this one.