Yes that’s right. It’s me, Dan Cook. A legendary entity among this blog, neither seen nor
heard but ultimately omnipotent and benevolent. These were whispers among the
fanbase rippling “Who would be next” as people were reduced to shivering
primeval wrecks in anticipation for the next post. “When would it come?”, “Who
could it be?” ; the anticipation was said to have been fatal in some cases,
with a death count equalling or even surpassing the great Swine Flu pandemic
[results pending].
Many of you have wondered what I do with my spare time, and
since my documentary isn’t due to come out until 2013 I thought I’d give you a
sneak peek. Skyrim admittedly has been a large portion of my life recently,
minor mortal functions such as breathing and eating have taken a back seat, my
body relying only on the atmosphere and beauty of the Tamrialin province.
Attached is a picture of my character, Conan. He’s a Nord. He specialises in
two handed weapons and light armour, and is an unparalleled fighter unmatched in
battle.
Then there’s my secondary, Dick-ass thief. Dick-ass thief
specialises in Stealth, archery and destruction magic. Dick-ass thief was a
setback to the Broquest character ‘Dick-ass Thief’, who is sort of a jerk. Long
story short my character runs about shooting children, punching horses, punting
rabbits across mountains with overpowered flame spells and generally harassing
the occupants of Skyrim. And you know what?
He’s so much more OP then my Conan build. 30x more damage
with one handed weapons when sneaking, x6 damage with bows and enough traps to
screw over an entire garrison of guards.
Sort
it out, Bethesda.
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