Relaxation, or lack of - Alex

There is one place in the world where I can feel fully relaxed. Only one. It isn't the beach, when I'm on the beach I worry about sun burn; it isn't in bed, my sheet has a habit of becoming loose and therefore ever so slightly less blissful. It is in fact on the porcelain throne, the lavvy, the bog or the dunny. Whatever you call it, it's where business gets done. Now I'll help you to emphasise with me (it'll take a while so I'll use a new paragraph, so you can skip it if you want).

Tomorrow I have a physics test which I need to prepare a set of revision notes for and then revise from the freshly made revision notes. Tomorrow I also have a biology test, an important biology test. This test is going to strain my knowledge of roughly 60%-80% of the course so far, meaning that it isn't too far away from the actual exam I will sit in January. I also want to do really well in this test, not only to boost my confidence and prove to myself that I'm not a useless pile of flesh and bone destined to serially under perform but also to prove to my biology teacher that he was correct to raise my predicted grade from a C to a B. Due on Monday I have a past maths paper which I have to complete, mark and then correct. A rather laborious process. Also to add to my numerical homework I have one sheet of statistics questions to be completed for roughly this time next week. Finally, and some would argue most importantly, I have the small matter of my history coursework. A 2000 word essay assessing the significance of tanks during the First World War. I am currently only a conclusion away from completing the essay for the first time, but then I'll probably proof read it, decide it's rubbish and change 50% of it. All of that has to be done by Monday too.

So it's fair to say that right now I'm under a fair deal of stress and I'm having to work, work and work through the pressure. For that reason I plan to spend this evening with a pen in my hand and a frown on my face, only taking a break to eat dinner and occasionally breath. Prepare to judge me. Now is my only genuine relaxation time for this evening and tonight. Half an hour on the toilet. With my boxer shorts and trousers off I feel free, and I have a cup of coffee next to me (absolutely disgusting, I know) plus a copy of fourfourtwo magazine placed within arms reach, for a quick read once I've finished this blog. So wish me luck for this evening, I've never been the workaholic type but I guess better late than never. Also wish me luck for tomorrow, because the two tests that are actually important to me are going to require more than just elbow grease and brain power. I bloomin' need divine intervention.