I'm ill. My nose is running like a combination of Usain Bolt and Paula Radcliffe, for a long time and very fast. My throat feels like I've been gargling razor blades, really sharp ones. My head feels like big ol' Shaq went for a slam dunk and then landed on my temple. My glands are swollen to roughly the size of a seal. Each. My mouth is drier than Antartica because I have to keep it open, otherwise I suffocate. Yesterday I actually went to the effort of selotaping a piece of tissue over my nose and top lip so that I didn't have to go through an infinite amount of toilet paper just the quell the streams of nasal mucus.
A horrible image which I apologise for planting deep inside your brain. What I'm trying to do is get loads of sympathy from you and make you feel sorry for me. I'm kidding, I'm typically British with the stiff upper lip and such. If any of you even contemplate pitying me I will hunt you down and sneeze into your eyes and face, you will catch the plague from me. You don't want the plague, you don't need me to tell you that though.
Back to bed for me, maybe if I'm feeling particularly active later I'll turn on my telly or the Xbox. Or maybe I'll just feel sorry for myself, like the pathetic mess I am.
man up alex :L
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