Recently it has come to my attention that one of the easiest ways to get "poon-tang" is by smelling both fresh and somewhat fruity. Now currently I smell like a mixture of lady and sweat, this is down to me attempting to mask the smell of pale ginger boy in the sun by spraying on excessive amounts of body spray. However normally I smell "clean", at least that's what my antiperspirant can claims. Although of late I've been putting some thought into it, and it seems like in order to increase my flow of aforementioned "poon-tang" I should be smelling more like, as Isaiah Mustafa would phrase it, jet fighters and punching. Just as a rugged beard can make a lady weak at the knees, so can the smell of a well groomed manly mans man. The moral the story is to smell like you could eat a bowl of nails and live to tell the tail, but my dilemma is how to get to this difficult equilibrium without overstepping the line and just stinking like a lumberjack after a hard days work. I think I have an answer though, and just as Terry Crews and Isaiah Mustafa have I should start purchasing old spice deodorant products. Of course I haven’t been sucked in by a well thought through marketing ploy, instead I have deliberated for many days and nights and after my fat friend bought some old spice and let me smell his underarm I have finally grown the balls to make a decision. Old spice it is.
NEW PARAGRAPH. And just to send you insane a new font, that's the type of edgy character I can be. With me you never know what you're going to get, I can change for a risk taking, hard talking bad ass to an attentive and slow paced square faster than you can say "Alex, your current t-shirt is incredibly quirky". Sometimes I do wear quirky t-shirts, other times I don't wear anything. I prefer the latter. Mmmmm.
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